


Keeping Time

by WolfNotFawn



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bands, Hero Worship, M/M, age gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-13
Updated: 2014-03-13
Packaged: 2017-12-23 09:26:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/924695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfNotFawn/pseuds/WolfNotFawn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Band!AU. Eren was a bright-eyed dreamer with hopes of making it as a singer, oh, and a hopeless crush on the man who was supposed to help him become one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Impression Is the Last Impression

“Armin, calm down. Your shaking is making the couch move.” Eren said as he patted Armin’s knee in an attempt to comfort him.

“S-sorry.” Armin spluttered out. “I can’t help it. It’s just happening so fast.”

Eren could sympathise with Armin’s nerves, his own stomach was churning too. He turned to his right taking a glance at Mikasa, she was bent forward, with her arms placed delicately on top of her knees. She had been much more reticent than usual.

It seems like they were all feeling nervous. But fast? Armin was wrong – It was not happening fast enough.

As far as Eren was concerned, he had been waiting for this moment for more than half his life. Every waking breath and every conscious thought had been focused on his one dream – becoming a singer.

Seven years of singing lessons, hundreds of hours of practice and dozens of demo recordings the three of them had sent out to music labels had led to this point, _this room_ where they were about to meet their management team for the first time.

Eren’s stomach started churning again, he couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

He had dreamt of becoming a singer for as long as he could remember. His father had bought him his first guitar for his sixth birthday and while Eren was much more interested in singing than playing that instrument, he tried his best to practice playing the guitar as much as he could.

After all, Armin had told him that his father wasn’t going to be keen to shell out for expensive singing lessons for a six year old unless Eren could show him that he could and would stick to his chosen ‘hobby’.  

By that age, Eren had already made the habit of paying attention to Armin’s advice and whatever the case, it had paid of. His father agreed to send him for singing lessons a year later. Eren still played his guitar on occasion, but honestly, Mikasa was much more adept at playing it than he ever was.

The band had been Eren’s idea. He was transfixed on the idea of travelling all over the world and performing his music to as many people as would listen. Eren’s enthusiasm had been contagious and Armin had readily agreed. Mikasa had said yes with little hesitation as well. She had never been very good at saying no to her brother, and besides she did genuinely enjoy both playing the guitar and listening to her brother practice his singing.

The three kid’s playtime since then had turned into band practice, with the three of them initially making more noise than actual music in Eren and Mikasa’s parent’s spare room. It was years later before they started producing anything that the three of them didn’t feel embarrassed to perform in front of others.

It was a surprisingly arresting combination though, and the trio had made amassed a small following in their hometown, where they performed at small parties on occasion.  

Armin had talked them into sending out their demo to a few recording labels just to try their luck. They hadn’t been expecting any of them to take the bait, but not only had they received a call back, the label that did contact them had offered them a recording contract.

“What if it’s just an elaborate prank?” Eren said, suddenly awash with the fear that it was too good to be true.

“A prank? By who?” Mikasa replied, leaning back on the couch to look at him.

“I don’t know. Our parents? Maybe Humanity Records is just calling us in as a publicity stunt. Maybe we’re on a reality show and we don’t know it.”  
  
“Eren. You’re rambling.” Mikasa placed a comforting hand over his shoulder. “This isn’t a prank. We’re here and we’ve signed the contract. You heard what they said to us, they liked your voice. They liked how we all sound together and the songs we’ve written.”

“Yeah you’re right. It’s just that we’re actually about to meet the people who are going to be responsible for our musical career, and the fact that we actually have musical careers. It’s so so-“  
  
“Crazy.” Armin continued cheerfully. “Hey Eren, maybe Humanity Records is offering us this deal because they found out how much you’ve spent on their CDs and fan merchandise over the years.” He grinned.

Eren did own a sizeable CD collection and a large chunk of his collection consisted of the entire discography of Eren’s personal favourite, and Humanity Records most popular musical offering – Wings of Liberty.

Armin was walking around the meeting room now, studying the framed pictures and posters that lined the walls. The pictures were of the Humanity Records numerous musical acts, many of them taken in casual settings with the company staff.

“Look Eren! It’s Wings of Liberty!” Armin called out excitedly.

Eren walked over to the picture Armin was referring to, and sure enough on the wall was a signed photograph of the whole band. Eren felt his heart thump deep within his chest, eyeing the picture with great interest.

“Imagine if we got to meet them some day.” Armin said. “It doesn’t seem impossible now that we’re signed to the same management company as they are! You might get to talk to Levi in person even!”

Eren’s stomach did a flip the thought. He had considered the possibility that he might get a chance to meet the frontman of his favourite band, but hearing Armin say it made the thought sound less crazy.

Levi was standing next to Hanji Zoe, the band’s guitarist in the picture. He had his usual stoic look on his face, but he and the rest of the band looked much younger. It was probably a picture from their earlier days, one he had never seen before. He wondered if he could somehow sneak a copy off someone in the building.

“Don’t get him too worked up. He looks like he’s about to throw up from the excitement of being able to meet that short guy.” Mikasa said from behind him.

She had gotten off the couch and was now studying that same photograph with the two of them.

“I wouldn’t throw up!” Eren replied hotly. “Anyways, it’s not like I’m his biggest fan or anything. I just think he’s a talented singer!”

“You have posters of him up in your bedroom.” Mikasa supplied.

“You don’t have to be so embarrassed, Eren.” Armin teased. “We all know how much you worship Levi.”

“I just like the way he sings.” Eren insisted, the tips of his ears tinged with red.

Mikasa and Armin exchanged playful looks behind Eren’s back. He had moved on to the next picture on the wall. It was of the company’s duo Sawney and Bean standing behind Wings of Liberty. The two of them towered over the band, especially Levi, but to Eren, Levi drew the most attention in the picture.

Levi was one of his biggest inspirations. Wings of Liberty had exploded into popularity the second they made their debut, and Eren had been transfixed the moment he saw one of their music videos on TV.

 The five members of Wings of Liberty were all extremely talented, but Eren had been completely captivated by the gritty charm of their lead vocal, Levi. He didn’t want to admit it in front of Mikasa and Armin but he really was a bit of a fanboy.

Not that he was any good in hiding his idol worship of the man. Eren had an embarrassing tendency to go slack-jawed and starry-eyed whenever a Wing’s of Liberty music video would play. He had once dragged Armin and Mikasa to a Wing’s of Liberty concert when they had come into town, and spent the entire two hours gaping at the stage.

Eren wasn’t sure how he would manage to keep it together if he really ever did manage to meet Levi.

The door to the meeting room swung open, and in stepped Gunter Shulz, the man who had taken care of their arrangements ever since they had got here, followed by a second tall, blonde man.

“Sir, these are the kids we were talking about.” Gunter said gesturing to the three of them.

Armin, Mikasa and Eren stepped forward. They recognised this stranger.

“And this is my Boss, Erwin Smith, CEO of Humanity Records.” Gunter continued, addressing the three of them this time.

They shook hands with Erwin and followed his lead to sit around the meeting table.

“I listened to your demo. It was quite impressive.” Erwin said.

Armin beamed at him. “Thank you sir!”

Mikasa muttered her thanks quietly, while Eren’s reply of gratitude came out a little too loud for the confined space.

“I’d like to welcome you all to the company. You’ve already met Gunter who will be in charge of you until your debut.” Erwin said. “One of our older bands will be mentoring the lot of you too. It will mostly be for the sake of creating media interest rather than any formal training by them.”

“It will also help get your names out there to the band’s existing fanbase.” Gunter added.

Eren barely had the time to process this information before he heard the door swing open behind him. He turned around to face the newcomers.

Five people had entered the room. Eren’s eyes widened. It couldn’t be. Standing near the rear of the group was the very person whose face Eren had spent more time studying than his own.

Mikasa and Armin both had their eye trained on Eren, awaiting his reaction to the newcomers.

‘ _It can’t be him._ ’ Eren thought, his breath catching in his throat, but those tight white pants and that unmistakable undercut told no lies.

Levi stepped forward.

“Oi, Erwin. Are these the brats we’re supposed to babysit?”

Levi’s eyes were boring into Eren’s own green ones. Eren was sure he was about to faint.

“Ah good. You guys are here.” He barely heard Erwin say over the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears.

Levi and the other newcomers approached the table and sat down in the remaining seats.

Eren gasped softly. _Levi was sitting at the same table as he was._ He felt his hands go numb from excitement. He wasn’t going to make it. He was going to throw up, or shout out his love for Wings of Liberty, or tell Levi how nice he looked in those white jeans or, or, or-

“I-I NEED TO GO TO THE WASHROOM.” Eren shouted as he stood up, violently pushing his chair back with the force of his actions. He fled the room in a panic, thankful that his legs still remembered how to walk.

Armin hid his face in his hands. He hoped for his friend’s sake that Levi had somehow not been paying attention to Eren’s strange announcement, but judging from the man’s raised eyebrow, this was too much to hope for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but this just idea just wouldn't leave me alone. Thanks for reading, I hope it has been alright so far! It's been years so I'm more than a little rusty. Do let me know if you have any thoughts


	2. If At First You Don't Succeed, Try And Try Again.

Sometimes being around his band members really tested Levi’s powers of self-control.

It’s not that he didn’t like them, it was quite the contrary actually, he respected their musical ability and they all got along well enough that doing concert tours with them wasn’t a torture.

It was just that sometimes he had the overwhelming urge to punch them in the face, if only to stop the sounds that kept emerging from their mouths. Was it so hard to ask for a quiet lunch?

“That new kid nearly wet himself in there.” Auro said smugly, reclining back in his seat in the company lounge. “He must have been intimidated by my overwhelming star presence.”

“He probably got a shock from your ugly mug and had to throw up in the bathroom.” Petra replied. “Poor thing…I know what that feels like.”

Her eyes landed on Auro meaningfully.

Levi tuned out the rest of his band members’ banter and took a bite of the wrap he was eating.

Erwin had called them into the office today to meet the new band that Humanity Records was looking to debut. He hadn’t said much, but he didn’t need to. Levi understood that Erwin asking ithem to attend the meeting meant that he saw something special in these kids.

He could understand where Erwin’s interest came from. He had listened to a copy of their demo, and honestly his curiosity had been piqued. The three of them had an electric chemistry and it came through very clearly in their music.

He hadn’t expected them to look quite so young though, and certainly not that nervous. Their lead singer had sounded so determined and confident whilst singing, but in the flesh, he seemed like an uncoordinated mess with overly large, eager-looking eyes.

“So Levi, what did you think of the new kids?” Hanji broke his train of thought with her question, a playful look nesting in her eyes.

“What about them.” Levi replied flatly.

“You might have an admirer amongst them. Poor kid couldn’t take his eyes off you.” She grinned wickedly.

“Lucky you.” Hanji continued. “He’s pretty cute. Can’t say the same for you though, he’s probably too young to have developed a sense of taste.”

Levi chose not to dignify her comment with a reply. He pushed his chair back as he stood up and walked out the lounge area.

“Eh? I guess he’s done eating…” Petra said, eyes trailing after Levi’s retreating back.

Hanji gave a small laugh and took a large spoonful of her dessert.

\-- -- --

“Eren. We have to leave in fifteen minutes.” Mikasa called from outside the bathroom door.

Eren spat out the remaining toothpaste from his mouth and gargled a few times. Today was going to be a grueling day.

After his embarrassing outburst at the meeting yesterday, he could scarcely do more than gape at Levi’s face the entire time. The man didn’t even turn to look at him once after the meeting had resumed, and he only hoped his gaze on Levi had been subtler than he remembered.

He cringed inwardly. Eren was never any good at hiding his emotions, but he had hoped for more finesse at handling this sort of situation. He wouldn’t blame Levi if the man thought he was some sort of socially retarded kid with the unrelenting need to announce the status of his bodily functions.

Seriously! Couldn’t he have come up with a less lame excuse to leave the room? Eren sighed as he put on a clean shirt and some jeans.

Even if it was the moment he had first met his idol, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to recall the moment fondly without feeling a tinge of shame and awkwardness along with it.

He wasn’t sure how much actual mentoring Levi was supposed to give him, but he needed to get his act together and control his inner fan if he was going to learn anything useful. He had come here to become a singer and not behave like a star-struck groupie.

He would do better today.

Mikasa and Armin were already seated at the small dining table in their shared apartment.

Someone, presumably Mikasa, had already laid out a glass of milk and some cereal for him.

“I’ll see you guys back at home.” Armin said, in-between bites of his bread. “Gunter said they want to re-work the arrangement of some of our songs with me before going over it with you guys.”

Mikasa nodded in reply. “I’ll be practicing with the guitar teacher today. He said he spotted some minor technical errors that might make playing long concerts a strain later on.”

Eren too had been assigned some solo activity today. Gunter had arranged for him to have a practice session with the company dance instructor.

“Eren, you have to go a dance lesson to go for right?” Armin said.

“It’s not a dance lesson.” Eren pointed out. “They just want me to work on my showmanship, so I know what to do with my arms and all that when I sing I guess.”

At least that’s what he hoped would be the case.

\-- -- --

He had no such luck.

“EREN! I don’t see you rolling your hips! Did you or did you not hear what I wanted you to do!”

Eren gulped as the dance instructor yelled at him. It wasn’t like he wasn’t trying, but this dancing business just didn’t come as naturally to him as he had hoped.

Apparently being a beginner didn’t give you any sort of free pass with this instructor though.

He spun around again, attempting to roll his hips, and hoped that his body would do what his brain wanted it to. Judging by the look on his instructor’s face, he had failed.

“Kid. One more time from the top.” The man sighed.

The dance instructor was a bald, intimidating man. Eren would never have pegged him as a dance teacher. He looked like he would have been more at home punching holes into walls then teaching celebrity-hopefuls how to jeté across the floor.

The dance instructor, Keith, had been teaching Eren a short but complicated dance routine that he was to perform in their debut music video. Apparently management thought it would add a little more flash to the performance.

Eren gritted his teeth and tried again.

He wasn’t keen on dancing, preferring to simply move in time to the music or let his singing speak for him when he was on stage, but if the higher-ups thought this was the way to go, then Eren would do as he was told.

He had no reason to doubt them; Humanity Records had consistently put out one quality musical act after another.

Keith didn’t look happy with his attempt, but at least he wasn’t shouting anymore. Eren sighed, trying to ignore the feeling of disappointment welling in his chest.

\-- -- --

It was 11pm, and the building was almost fully empty. Levi had his guitar case slung over one shoulder as he walked through the empty corridor.

He had been having trouble with the song he was currently working on and had come in to write in the office for a change. He thought that being in a different environment from home would help jolt some untapped inspiration hiding in the corner of his brain, but it had just been five hours wasted staring at the wall.

There was music coming from the dance studio ahead of him. It was too late for scheduled practice so it had to be someone practicing alone.

Levi slowed as he passed the door to the studio, looking in casually through the transparent glass pane that covered the upper half of the door.

The figure that was now attempting to do a body wave was unfamiliar to him.

Wait- it was that kid Erwin had introduced him to.

“ _Eren._ ” His mind helpfully supplied, he didn’t expect himself to have absorbed the kid’s name.

He supposed he could see why Erwin and Gunter had seemed as keen as they were on this new project of theirs. The girl he met yesterday had a dignified air and a pretty face, while the blonde boy had a disarmingly bright smile.

This boy here was not bad too, he supposed. There was definitely a market out there for the boyishly handsome type.

Levi shifted his attention back to Eren’s routine. The boy seemed to be trying hard, trying a little too hard even.

Oh well, he was bound to figure it out eventually.

Levi was about to turn away disinterestedly when he caught a glimmer of determination in the boy’s eyes that he hadn’t noticed before.

Even if he lacked any natural grace in this area, Eren had to be praised for his diligence. Not many boys his age would willingly practice alone in a stuffy dance studio when he could be out doing anything else.

Levi opened the door to the studio, and quietly sat his guitar down in the corner.

“Brat.” He called out. “You’re over-thinking it.”

Eren turned with a start. He had been concentrating too hard to notice Levi’s sudden presence.

“I-uh-What?” Eren responded intelligently.

“You’re not going to bolt on me again, are you?” Levi deadpanned, noticing the red flush that danced across the boy’s cheeks.

“Like I said, don’t think too hard. Stop thinking about what goes where and which muscle does what. It’s your body, it’ll do what you want it to if you just let it.” He continued, almost patiently.

Eren didn’t trust himself to reply, but if the one and only Levi had found it in him to somehow give him pointers, he wasn’t going to waste any of his time. He quickly pressed the replay button and placed the remote control on the floor.

He didn’t even need to try to follow Levi’s advice. He was too distracted by the thought of Levi beside him, of Levi helping him, of Levi watching him, to concentrate too hard on his dancing.

Somehow it had worked, Eren realised as he watched his reflection move in the mirror. He looked like he had some semblance of coordination and his movements were much smoother.

He panted as he finally finished the routine, his muscles beginning to feel the burn of working so intensely for hours.

“Wipe your sweat off. It’s disgusting.” Levi said, turning away to avoid looking at the boy’s perspiration roll off his brow.

“Th-thanks. For your help I mean. How did you know how to fix me?” Eren said.

“I assumed you had been practicing for hours with the way you were sweating like a pig.” Levi replied. “You looked like you were forcing your movements too hard. After you’ve practiced hard enough, sometimes you just have to let your muscle memory do the work for you and just dance.”

Levi walked over to his guitar case and picked it up by the strap.

“Oi. You little shit. Did you hear what I said about wiping your face? I’m not going to wait while you take a shower, but I’m definitely not walking you home if you’re going to be dripping wet with sweat.” Levi called to the boy.

“You’re walking me home?!” Eren sounded bewildered.

“Don’t feel flattered. Erwin will have my head if you we find your disemboweled body in the trash tomorrow. It’s late. Now hurry up.” Levi replied.

“Yes!” Eren shouted, and hurry he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your lovely comments! I didn't expect anyone to be interested. I hope you continue to read this :3 Do let me know what you think.


	3. Honesty Is The Best Policy

There was a quiet lull in the late evening air. Eren walked a little ways behind Levi, feeling a little too awkward to stand nearer to the man. It was a strange to think that the man whose face adorned his bedroom walls was now beside him, walking him home. He felt warmth grow within his chest at the though, and there was a goofy smile on his face that he was having trouble controlling.

 He knew Levi was only doing his duty as a senior, but still, this was the stuff of his fantasies.

“Eren, do I make you uneasy?” Levi’s voice broke the silence between them.

Eren was startled. “…What? Why would you think that?”  
  
Levi frowned a little, and said  “You seemed anxious during the first meeting. I know I come off a little-“

“No. I don’t feel uneasy around you.” Eren interrupted him mid-speech.

Levi paused for a short while, stepping over an empty can lying on the pavement.

“I know I seem cold, Hanji says I’m hard to approach. But what Erwin said about us being your mentors wasn’t just for the sake of it you know? We’re here to help you, and that includes me.”

Levi had kept silent after that, as if he hadn’t said anything, but Eren knew it had really happened, and that he hadn’t imagined it. His head wouldn’t be spinning otherwise.

“Thanks Levi, sir.” Eren managed to say.

Levi rolled his eyes a little. “Just Levi is fine brat. Don’t go all formal on me.”

The two of them turned around a corner. The street was quiet, empty, except for a lone cat lounging comfortably above a trashcan. This part of town was more commercial than residential, so it was exceptionally empty at this time of night.

Humanity Records rented a small number of apartments in this area, just ten minutes away from the company building, where they housed their trainees and some of their newer artists. Levi seemed to know the way to the there fairly well.

‘ _He must have lived here once too.’_ Eren realised.

It was strange to think that Levi might have once been in a similar position as he was now, and his mind was boggled by the thought that he might someday be a big success as Levi.

“Why did you want to become a singer?” Eren blurted out. He had always been quite the talker; it never seemed to bother Mikasa or Armin though. He only hoped Levi wouldn’t be annoyed by his chatter.

“I like singing, kid, it’s that simple. “ Levi replied.

They had reached the apartment, and Eren pulled out his keys to open the front door.

“Thank you for walking me home.” Eren said, noticing Levi had already turned to leave. He shut the door quickly, before something stupid escaped his mouth like, “ _I like singing too!”_

\-- -- --

“Much better Jaeger.” Keith said approvingly, nodding slightly at the boy. ‘We’ll make a star out of you yet.”  
  
Eren felt a slow burn of pride warm his chest. He had just performed the routine he learnt yesterday to the dance instructor, and this time, Keith didn’t seem half as fed up as he had been a day ago.

He beamed up at the man. “Thanks sir!”

“That looks great Eren!” Amin called from the corner of the studio. He and Mikasa were leaning up against the sides of the room, leaving little smudge-marks on the mirrors that lined the walls of the studio. Gunter was standing upright beside them, careful not to lean on the shiny surface.

Mikasa didn’t say anything, but the pride was clear in her eyes.

“Now the two of you get over here!” Keith barked up at them.  “It’s your turn.”  
  
Armin looked a little startled. “You mean we’ll have to dance too, sir?’  
  
“No, don’t be stupid. You have those instruments to play don’t you? I just need to arrange your positioning.”

“It’ll just be a temporary thing.” Gunter added from the side. “Erwin will want to take a look at how you guys look and sound live. Just to get a feel and see if we’ll need to make any adjustments to the line-up.”

Gunter had said it in such a matter-of-factly way that Eren almost missed the implications of that comment.

Making adjustments to the line-up... The three of them had considered the possibility of other people being added to their band when they were deliberating whether to accept the offer with Humanity Records. Once they were signed to the label, they would have to accept whatever arrangements the company deemed necessary.

Eren hadn’t felt bothered by it before, all we wanted to do was make music and sing, and if he needed to work with some new members, that would be fine, as long as Mikasa and Armin were with him too.

It did feel a little strange though, when the possibility was right before him.

He turned around to take a look at Armin and Mikasa’s responses, they both didn’t seem bothered by what Gunter had said, and were busy following Keith’s instructions on where to stand.  
  
There was a knock on the door of the dance studio and it swung open to reveal Hanji, Erd and Petra.  
  
“Don’t mind us! We just wanted to check in on the kids.” Hanji said brightly as she stepped into the room accompanied by the other two.

Eren’s eyes swept over the three of them, searching for a figure that seemed to be missing.

“He’s not here, Eren.” He heard Hanji say to him.  
  
“Huh? Uh, who do you mean?” Eren coughed out, he felt a faint rush of blood to his ears. He hadn’t realised he had been so transparent.  
  
Hanji grinned at him, she looked delighted at being given the chance to say exactly who she knew Eren was looking for when they heard a soft gasp from Petra.  
  
“Someone better get a cloth to wipe down the mirror before Levi sees this.” She and Erd were staring at the smudges left on the mirror. “He’ll make us all clean this room again.”  
  
Both Hanji and Erd looked a little nauseous at the thought.

“Um..” Eren ventured, “Why would Levi make you all clean up?”

Hanji walked across the room to Eren and proceeded to throw an arm over his shoulders.

“Well Eren, our Levi is a little bit of a clean freak. He doesn’t want to order the cleaners who work here around, so he holds us to his impossible standards instead.” She sighed.

“Pretty soon, everyone learns not to drop crumbs or drip anything. Who would have guessed huh? Levi the rockstar likes to dust the tables and clean the shelves in his little apron.” Eren tried to resist picturing what Hanji had just described.

“Not that you mind eh Eren?” She nudged him gently, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “Now don’t let this leak out, wouldn’t want to ruin his cool image now, do we?”

“It wouldn’t interfere with his kind of appeal.” Eren replied confidently.  
  
“Oh?” Hanji replied, her grin widening.

Eren turned a little red, realising how he must have sounded, and shifted his attention back to Keith to avoid Hanji’s gaze.

Gunter and Keith were now looking critically at their newly formed arrangement. Armin, Mikasa and Eren were standing in a triangular formation with Eren unmoved from his original spot in the middle.

“I think this is the one.” Gunter finally said and some sort of agreement seemed to pass between the two men.

\-- -- --

Three days later, Erwin had dropped in to watch the three of them do a short performance. He looked fairly pleased, though he seemed hesitant to commend the trio.

It had potential, he said, but it wasn’t quite there yet.

Eren wasn’t sure what he had meant, but Gunter had nodded along with him.

Something was missing. Their act lacked production value, Gunter added, and Erwin seemed to agree with his comment. Whatever the case, all Eren understood was that it had resulted in him spending over an hour in this changing room, trying on outfit after outfit that had been picked out by a stylist.

Since this morning Gunter had dragged Armin, Mikasa and Eren down to the company stylists and hairdressers, intent on putting them through some sort of image overhaul. He was glad to see that his hair was generally untouched, but the nape of his neck felt cool, exposed to air for the first time in months.

“We aren’t quite sure what’s missing from this group yet, but we thought that making you all look a little flashier might help pad this group out. Give it that extra appeal factor.” Gunter had explained.

The three of them couldn’t complain. It was a nice break from the endless practicing after all.

“How about this?” Eren said, stepping out of the changing area.

He was clad in cream-coloured jeans that wrapped tightly around his thighs, a sleeveless white-top under a dark green jacket, and a pair of leather boots that came up to his knees.  

Eren did a small turn as he exited the changing space, so that Gunter could better inspect his outfit, but instead of Gunter, Armin and Mikasa alone as he had expected, he was met with three extra pairs of eyes.

Hanji whistled appreciatively. “Not bad, not bad at all!” She added. “Your future fans are going to be very happy with how your butt looks in those jeans.”

“You look very nice, Eren.” Petra said encouragingly.

Gunter too voiced his agreement.

Levi who was perched on the arm of the couch beside him however, remained impassive.

“Well?” Hanji said to Levi expectantly. “Don’t you think Eren looks sexy in that outfit?”

Levi raised his eyebrow slightly. “I always knew you were a pervert Hanji, but discussing the sexual appeal of an underage boy is a little creepy, even for you.”

“Oh don’t be such a prude. We’re just giving him constructive feedback as his colleagues and esteemed seniors.” Hanji laughed.

“I’m sure Gunter would like to hear what you think as well, Levi, he’s never had a taste for fashion.” Petra added placatingly.

Levi pursed his lips, before responding stiffly, “He looks alright.”

Eren wilted a little. “Should I try on something else then?” He asked Gunter. Gunter opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by a sharp–

“No.”

Eren felt heat rise up from his body as Levi’s eyes travelled down the line of his body.

“You look good, Eren.” Levi said, ignoring the cackle that had escaped from Hanji’s mouth at his admission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Make Hay When The Sun Shines

“Oi.” Levi said.

The waiter froze at the tone of controlled irritation in Levi’s voice, the glass of whiskey he was about to set down on the table was still in his hand.

He looked up to see a dark look on the man’s face, and a growing furrow between his brows. He wasn’t sure if he had done anything that warranted anger from this customer but it didn’t stop him from swallowing a nervous gulp. Maybe he had gotten the man’s order mixed up.

“You forgot to put a coaster down first.” Levi said tonelessly.

The waiter stammered out an apology and left hurriedly to fetch a coaster.

“Ahhh Levi, you don’t have to be so mean!” Hanji said, leaning over to the shorter man, her drink sloshing dangerous in her hand.

Levi eyed her warningly, shifting himself slightly out of her reach. “If you spill any of that drink on me, I will punch you in the face, you drunk.”

Much to his displeasure, Hanji responded by slamming her drink on the table and throwing an arm around Levi, engulfing him in something that resembled a hug.

“I came here to drink. Not to be harassed by a handsy freak.” Levi said, folding his arms and straightening up in his chair.

“Maybe it’s best if you let Levi go.” Petra said worriedly. “He looks like he might pop a blood vessel.”

“Petra! Don’t be shy, I know you’ve always wanted a piece of this!” Hanji responded enthusiastically, grabbing one of Petra’s hands and placing it firmly on Levi’s chest.

Petra shrieked at the contact, and raised her remaining hand to cover her reddening face.

Erwin observed the scene before him placidly, silently thankful that they were in a private area of the lounge bar. The tabloids would have a field day if the two female members of one of his highest earning bands were caught drunkenly fondling their lead singer.

This bar was a favourite of his. It was upscale enough that it attracted only discerning customers with money to spare, yet was tastefully simple. He had always been a conservative man despite the nature of his work, and he tended to shy away from anything overtly outlandish.

Most importantly, the bar had a number of discreet, private rooms. The privilege of privacy was definitely one that was greatly appreciated; Erwin preferred that he and his associates be able to kick loose without attracting unnecessary attention, especially from the press, and especially after knocking back one too many drinks.

The private rooms were large enough to hold parties of up to twenty-five people, and Erwin had become accustomed to coming here accompanied by a number of his employees and music artists for some unofficial bonding time.

Though truthfully, not all of them seemed completely at ease with him. Erwin had tried to treat them as informally as he could, but he always maintained an unshakeable air of authority. Only Levi, Hanji and Mike who was one of the music producers, seemed completely comfortable around him.

The rest seemed to manage their slight discomfort at hanging out with their boss by discussing work, as if unable to think of anything else that might interest Erwin.

Erwin didn’t mind it too much, he took work very seriously and didn’t find it a bother to discuss it during his leisure time, besides, these work-related discussions quickly turned to more interesting happenings once everybody got liquored-up well enough.

It was still early on in the night though, and apart from Hanji who had an early head start, the rest of the room was fairly sober.

A few employees were seated on a large couch on the other end of the room, while Auro, Erd and Gunter sat on his right.

Erd looked expectantly at Gunter, as if counting on him to come up with some suitable topic for discussion.

“I’ve been thinking about the new kids, sir.” Gunter started. “Maybe we should try adding one or two members to the mix, and see how that works.”

The same thought had occurred to Erwin. It was not as if Eren, Mikasa and Armin were not strong enough musically to debut as a trio, but there was a difference between putting out a good band and putting out a phenomenal one.

Unfortunately more than just musical ability had to be considered when putting together a band nowadays. The individual members had to have mass appeal and the band as a whole had to have chemistry.

He had felt the same way when he had convinced Levi to debut as part of a band instead of a solo artist so many years ago. Erwin knew that it took all of Levi’s trust in him not to leave the label and debut as a singer somewhere else, and to this day Erwin was grateful for his faith in him.

It had paid off in the end of course, but he knew it must have been hard for Levi to entrust his compositions to a group of almost strangers, allowing them all to collectively perform his songs, many of which were deeply personal products.

“I know who might be a good fit.” Mike said. Erwin hadn’t even noticed the other man had been leaning quietly against the wall behind them.

Mike and Gunter began discussing the possibility of this new candidate in greater detail.

He noticed that Levi had disengaged himself from Petra and Hanji and was now quietly listening to their discussion about the Eren, Armin and Mikasa.

Levi had his eyes trained on the opposite corner of the room, feigning complete disinterest in their conversation, but Erwin had known him long enough to tell that it was just a ruse.

Erwin took a sip of his drink thoughtfully. “Levi. What do you think about adding a new member to their group?”

Levi paused for a second, bringing his glass up to his lips and taking a small sip.

“They sound good as they are, but you’re rarely wrong about these things.” He said neutrally.

Erwin considered this for a second, it was definitely worth a shot.

\--- --- ---

Eren threw his spoon back into his bowl of soup violently. He could sense Armin tensing up at his outburst but he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

He threw a glare at the brown-haired boy sitting at the next table in the company dining area. Eren hadn’t seen him around before but figured he had to be one of the other trainees signed with the label.

“That’s really disgusting.” Eren said loudly. “Wanting to be a musician just for the money.”

Eren had been listening to the boy talk loudly about his motivations for being a musician for the past five minutes and most of what he heard had pissed him off.

The brown-haired boy turned around and gave him a smirk. “Oh? What’s it to you? Are you one of those people who pretend they’re only doing it for the music? That’s a bit ironic considering you’re sitting in one of the biggest, most commercially successful labels in the country. Better to be honest then to act all noble.”

Eren gritted his teeth, he felt a rush of blood to his head as he kicked his chair back and took a step towards the other boy.

“Are you referring to me?” Eren replied tersely.

The other boy stood up, the smirk on his face not fading. “Ah, did I hit a little too close to home?”

Eren tightened his fists and took a step closer as the taller boy did the same. He ignored Armin’s attempt to calm him down in the background. He didn’t at all mind a chance to blow off some steam, and in any case, this horse-faced guy was practically begging for a fist to the face.

“Ahem.” Eren turned to see that Erd had just entered the room, a raised eyebrow and a questioning look on his face. He was accompanied by Mike who remained impassive to the tension in the room.  
  
“Is there a problem here?” Erd asked.  
  
“No Erd, we were just getting better acquainted.” Mikasa answered, not missing a beat. She stood up, grabbing Eren and Armin by the hands and pulling them out of the room.

“I feel bad for however has to work with you in the future.” Eren called out just before being dragged out by Mikasa, grinning widely in response to the dirty look the other boy threw at him.

\--- --- ---

“This is Jean Kirschtein.” Gunter introduced. “We’re thinking of adding him as a bassist to the band.”

Eren stared at Gunter. This could not be happening.

“Err, hi.” He heard Armin say. His voice sounded strangely high-pitched and tense, and Eren knew he had not made a mistake; this was the boy from the dining area.

Eren held out a hand. “Hi, I’m Eren.” Jean took his hand and shook it gingerly.

Mikasa too extended a hand to the Jean, and he shook it with much more enthusiasm then he had shown Eren. Eren noticed that a red flush had come over Jean’s face.

 _‘Maybe he’s feeling awkward about earlier.’_ Eren thought to himself.

“Err look, I’m sorry about earlier.” Jean said, looking at Eren.  
  
Eren was surprised, he hadn’t expected Jean to be type who would be able to apologise. His face softened, and he gave Jean a slight smile.  
  
“No, I’m sorry too.” He said.

Gunter raised an eyebrow at the exchange but decided not to ask any questions.

“Alright, Mike played around with the arrangement of the title track and added a bass line to it. I want you guys to practice together. Help Jean out if he needs it.” He instructed as he pinned their new weekly schedule up on the board in the practice room.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.” He added before stepping out of the room.

Eren had to admit that Jean wasn’t half bad. They had been playing for less than an hour and already Jean was playing with them without any major screw-ups. He wasn’t sure if he liked the guy, but musically he was more than competent.

\--- --- ---

“See you tomorrow Levi, don’t stay too late.” Petra called from the door.

He nodded and waved her off. It had become a habit for him to stay much later than the rest of the band after their jamming sessions. He found it much easier to write when he was alone and that the quiet practice rooms in the company building were conducive to the creative process.

He moved to lie back against the armrest with his feet hanging off the edge of the couch. He didn’t want his shoes to dirty the couch after all.

It was a little harder to play the guitar in this position, but he felt too comfortable to care. It had been a long day. He closed his eyes and sang softly under his breath as he played the last progression over again.

He opened his eyes to see a slight figure staring at him from the entrance of the room. He hadn’t seen the boy around for a few days now.

“What are you staring at brat?” Levi called out.

Eren blinked away the glazed look he had in his eyes, and swallowed slightly at being caught.

“Um, I hope I’m not bothering you.” He said.

Levi noticed the boy hadn’t moved. It looked like he was intending on observing him from the door.

“Don’t just stand there. You look like an idiot. Sit.” Levi said.

A smile broke out on Eren’s face and Levi felt his own expression soften at how pleased the boy seemed.

Eren placed his bag on a chair and settled himself on the floor beside Levi.

Levi strummed his guitar tentatively, and then began to play again.

It wasn’t too bad having Eren around, the boy seemed happy to just sit and listen. He seemed transfixed, his eyes trained on Levi’s fingers as they danced around the fret board.

Levi had to admit that the boy’s attention on him was rather flattering. He enjoyed the way Eren’s large green eyes filled with something akin to adoration, more than he cared to admit. He sighed inwardly to himself; maybe he was getting vain in his older years.

Levi quickly became absorbed in his own playing, forgetting the presence of the younger boy beside him. It was only twenty minutes later that Levi had enough. He looked up expecting to see that Eren had slinked out of the room and gone home, but was surprised to see the boy had fallen asleep.

It must have been a tiring week, he had heard that a new bassist had been added to the band three days ago and Eren and his friends had been practicing nonstop.

Levi glanced at his watch, it was already 10:45pm. Eren must have stayed behind alone to practice again. The boy’s work ethic was really quite admirable, Levi considered.

Eren’s head was resting on his arms, which he had folded and placed on the edge of the couch. Levi watched the boy the gentle rise and fall of the boy’s chest for a while.

His eyes trailed down Eren’s body, his legs were half-folded and bent to the side and were encased in the tightest black denim Levi had ever seen. His new shorter hair framed his face in a way that made him look a little more mature, and left his neck exposed. Levi eyed the creamy span of flesh at the nape of Eren’s neck and felt something scarily like lust flare in the pit of his stomach.

Levi averted his eyes and placed his guitar down on the couch. _‘He’s fifteen.’_ He reminded himself sternly.

“Eren. Wake up.” No response. Levi tried again a little louder. “Brat. Wake up.” Still nothing. Levi was tempted to kick him awake. He placed a hand on Eren’s shoulder and bent a little closer. “Eren. Get up, we’re leaving.” He tried.

Eren jerked up, eyes bleary from sleep with an unfocused expression on his face.  
  
“Who do you think you are? Sleeping beauty? So damn hard to wake.” Levi grumbled at him. He knew he should have moved back a little, Eren was a little too close now that he was awake. He wouldn’t be surprised if the kid could feel his breath on his face as he spoke.

Levi started to straighten up slightly, but felt a hand take hold of his wrist and pull him forward.

Eren’s lips were soft, and Levi almost slipped a tongue in to part them on instinct. It was only the shock of the situation that kept him lucid enough to pull away.

The boy had a terrified look on his face, as if he had only just realised what he had done and quickly scrambled to his feet.

Levi stared at him expectantly. “What was that for, Eren?” But he knew he wasn’t getting a reply, Eren had grabbed his bag and fled the room.  
  
Yup, he had definitely been too close.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long week /sweatdrop
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting everyone!


	5. Every Dog Has His Day

Eren pressed a button on his phone absently, and watched the screen light up, ’ _10.27pm’_ it said. He hoped Levi hadn’t decided to leave earlier today or he would be spending all this time waiting for nothing. His heart drummed with anticipation, eager to apologise to the man for his actions yesterday.

He had been seated on the steps outside the company building for close to thirty minutes now, and with nothing to distract him from his anxiety. Eren would have considered just leaving if he didn’t so resolutely believe that he owed Levi an explanation, no matter how half-assed it would sound.

At least the night air wasn’t too cold and he could sit here without freezing his ass off. Eren pulled his dark green hoodie tighter around himself, it appeared to have loosened slightly in the wash and had an annoying habit of slipping off his shoulders.

He considered taking another walk around the building to look for Levi, but he had already done that twice and didn’t have any luck, he would just have to wait for him here.

He heard an indistinct chatter from the entrance of the building. He groaned inwardly, hoping it was not another group of staff he would have to greet as they left for the night.

He wasn’t too good at deflecting questions about why he was still waiting here and every awkward attempt at evading the question without lying was putting him more on edge then he was before.

“Oh ho! If it isn’t Eren?” Hearing his own name made Eren turn his head to face the speaker, and he was met with the sight of Hanji and Erwin emerging from the building.

Hanji waved cheerfully at him as he rose from his spot on the stairs to greet the two newcomers.  
  
“What are you doing here so late?” Hanji asked the boy.

Eren shifted his weight uneasily between his two feet. “I’m uh, waiting for someone.” He replied.

“Oh, Armin and Mikasa?” Hanji asked, without waiting for a reply however she continued, “We’re all headed out for a drink. Want to come along?”  
  
“Hanji. He’s underage.” Erwin interjected, a disapproving frown on his forehead.

Hanji was undeterred by this piece of information.

“I’m sure they won’t notice if he walks in with us. Besides the bar won’t say anything considering how much money you spend there every week.” She argued. 

“It’s really alright. I don’t mind not going.” Eren tried to convince Hanji. He hoped she wouldn’t really drag him along to a bar, he was supposed to be waiting for Levi, and Mikasa wouldn’t be too happy if he disappeared without informing her and came home smelling of alcohol.  
  
“Nonsense! Come on, it’ll be really fun.” She persisted. 

Eren gave Erwin a pleading look, hoping that he would be able to stop Hanji in her attempt to debauch him.

“He’s waiting for his friends.” Erwin said in an attempt to dissuade her.

“Well then, Mikasa and Armin can come along too!” She said with a wave of her hand.

“I’m not really waiting for them.” Eren said, eyes darting to the ground. He hoped she wouldn’t ask who he was waiting for.

“Eh? Then who are you waiting for?” Hanji questioned, there was a curious glint in her eyes.

The sound a sturdy pair of shoes crunching down on the stairs made them all turn. Levi was walking down the stairs with his hands in his pockets and a bored look on his face.

“Why are you still here?” Levi asked Hanji. “I told you two to go on ahead first.”

“We were just convincing Eren to join us!” She informed him cheerfully. 

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly, his eyes glancing over the two of them, noting Eren’s hesitant expression. “What. Do you really have shit for brains? He’s underage.” Levi said.

“Come on, let’s go.” He continued, walking past the three of them without stopping.

Eren’s heart sped up a little as the shorter man passed him without a word. He supposed he should be grateful that Levi hadn’t kicked the shit out of him on sight, but he knew he would feel uneasy until he could at least apologise to the man.

“Ah wait!” Eren called out abruptly. “Levi, could I talk to you?” He said, his voice trailing off hesitantly.

The man had paused in his step, he seemed to be considering the proposal, though with his back to Eren, the boy couldn’t be too sure. Maybe he hadn’t heard him, maybe he was just stepping over a piece of gum so he wouldn’t ruin his shoes, maybe –

“Erwin, Hanji. I’ll see you both later.” Levi said to his two companions. 

Erwin nodded with question and resumed walking. Hanji on the other hand looked like she was having trouble suppressing a wide smirk on her face.

Thankfully Hanji chose not to say anything inappropriate, a small blessing that Eren felt grateful for. He was feeling awkward enough. He wondered for a second if Levi had told the rest of his band about what had happened between them and he felt a rising blush decorate his cheeks.

He was so caught up in his embarrassment that he hadn’t realised Levi had turned around to face him.

“What did you want to say to me, brat?” Levi asked, he looked almost nonchalant with his hands still in his pockets. He looked so casual talking to Eren that the boy almost questioned for a second whether he had imagined the whole kiss.

“If this is about you nearly sucking my face off the other night–“ Levi drawled before being interrupted by Eren.

“I wasn’t! I mean I didn’t mean to.” Eren began with a start. 

It was harder than he imagined, trying to apologise when he couldn’t even think about what he had done without cringing.

He breathed in deeply in an attempt to gather his thoughts. He didn’t want to make this worse by blurting out something stupid. Maybe he should have consulted Armin before hand, he would know how to make all this better. 

“Can we not talk in the middle of the stairs?” Eren said, hoping that the short walk to anywhere else might give him enough time to think of how to approach this situation.

He heard Levi give a soft grunt, which he supposed must have been a sound of agreement because the man started walking off slowly in the direction of a bench that was a short distance away. Eren followed him, fiddling with the long sleeves of his hoodie.

They both sat down on the bench, keeping a respectable distance between them. Eren could feel the warmth of Levi’s body heat radiate from the arm that the older man had thrown casually around the back of the bench, and he swallowed slowly.

“I want to apologise for what I did the other night.” Eren said, looking at hands, which he had placed on his lap. “But I don’t want you to misunderstand. I wasn’t doing it as a joke or to make fun of you.”

Levi kept silent as the Eren continued to ramble on.

“I mean I didn’t plan to do it and I wasn’t really thinking when I did it but I really look up to you, and I think you’re really talented and good-looking. I mean, I mean I like you a lot.” The boy trailed off after his admission, and Levi noticed that while the boy looked apprehensive, he had a resolute expression on his face.

There was a tense silence between the two before Levi turned to look at Eren. The boy had his hands balled up into fists that were peeking out of the sleeves of the hoodie, it looked too big for him and made him seem younger than ever.

Levi sighed a little.

“Look Eren, I’m really flattered, and I appreciate you coming to apologise to me. I’m a lot older than you and I’ve been through a lot more shit than you have so don’t take it that I’m trying to discredit your confession or whatever the hell.” He said, looking the boy in the eye. 

“There’s a difference between liking someone and finding them attractive, and I’m definitely not going to play around with you until you figure out whether you really like me or whether this whole thing is just some fanboy crush you have.” Levi said, his voice firm but uncharacteristically gentle.

“Levi, It’s not just a crush.” Eren said in a wounded tone. “I really do like you!” He said, and Levi almost fell for the earnest look in the kid’s honest eyes. 

Levi leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes for a second. “I’m not calling you a liar, you shitty brat. Just think about things from my perspective for a second. It’s a lot easier when you’re a teenager, you’re in love one minute and then you’re not and one month later you feel good as new. I’m not that young anymore, my heart can’t take that kind of strain.”

“And how are you so sure I’m not just a phase, especially when all I see when I look at you sometimes is that star-struck look you have in your eyes.” Levi said with challenging grit in his voice.

“We just met for the first time a month ago. What do you even know about me apart from what you’ve read in the papers?” He continued.

Eren kept silent for a minute before speaking. “It’s true I don’t really know that much about you personally, but there’s nothing about you I don’t like yet, and I just want a chance to get to know you better. Would that be so bad?” He pleaded in a soft voice.

Levi swore and stood up abruptly. “Geez kid, how many times have you tricked your parents into buying you ice cream before dinner with those puppy dog eyes? Come on, get up, I’ll walk you home.”

\--- --- ---

Eren groaned as the sound of his alarm filled his small room. He stretched an arm out to turn it off and resolutely pulled the blankets tightly over himself. It was a good thing it was the weekend and he wouldn’t have to go to work today, he just didn’t feel up for it.

Levi hadn’t such much else after the man had walked him home yesterday and Eren had been a little too disheartened to engage him in his usual chatter. He squeezed his eyes shut at the memory of last night’s events, it made him feel downright shitty. 

He wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he made his confession to Levi, but he certainly wasn’t mentally prepared for feeling like the guy had punched him square in the heart.

Maybe he should have thought things through a little more before coming out to the older man like that. He groaned as he covered his face with his pillow and flipped around till he was lying on his stomach.

Perhaps it was time to go to Armin for some advice.

He found his opportunity after breakfast. Mikasa had left the house right after finishing her meal. Apparently she had made plans a girl named Annie who she had met at one of the practice rooms at work. Armin didn’t have any plans for the day and was lying down comfortably on the small couch in their tiny living room, reading a book.

Eren sat on the floor with his back to the side of the couch.  
  
“Amin, I need to talk to you about something.” Eren began, apprehensively. The blonde took his eyes of his book and placed it flat across his chest, careful to keep a finger in between the page he was at.

“What’s up?” Armin asked.

“I…told Levi I like him.” Eren said, he tried to keep a straight face at the look of shock on Armin’s face, but lapsed into a cross between a look of embarrassment and a grimace. 

“No, not that that’s a bad thing!” Armin tried to reassure him hurriedly in reaction to the expression on Eren’s face. “I was just surprised, I mean what happened? What did he say!”

Eren relayed the events of the two nights, finding it hard to meet Armin’s eyes at certain more embarrassing points in his story.

“He thinks I’m just a kid.” He finished miserably, feeling a little downtrodden.

“He won’t even give me a chance.” Eren continued. 

Armin kept silent at that. “I’m not so sure about that…” Armin said carefully, he looked thoughtful. “I mean, he never did say he didn’t like you. He just said he didn’t know if you were genuinely interested in him right?”  
  
“I…guess?” Eren replied, looking a little doubtful. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you might still have a shot!” Armin said. “But he has a point you know, it would be incredibly selfish of you if you decided you didn’t really like him that way halfway through. I’m not saying you don’t really like him, Eren!” Armin concluded hastily at the dark look that was growing on Eren’s face.

“I’m just saying maybe you should take the time to figure out if you have a genuine romantic interest in him or whether it’s just hero worship.” Armin added. “And when you do, you might have a real shot!” Eren’s heart swelled at the thought of that possibility.

“Thanks Armin!” Eren said brightly, pulling the other boy into a rough hug. “And uh, could you keep this to yourself for a while?” He asked.  
  
Armin laughed. “Got it, I won’t tell your protective older sister about you kissing an older man.”

Eren laughed nervously, he hoped Mikasa wouldn’t freak out.

\--- --- ---

“We’ll begin recording your first album tomorrow, so be sure to leave earlier today and get enough rest.” Gunter said from across the meeting room table.  
  
Eren felt a surge of excitement, it was finally happening. Their band line-up had been confirmed as the four of them, including Jean (who as it turned out wasn’t that big of a prick all the time).

Eren gave Mikasa and Armin an excited smile, and even found it in him to give Jean a friendly pat on the shoulder. 

“There’s just the matter of your band name now.” Erwin said, leaning forward to place his elbows on the sturdy table. 

“As I understand it, the three of you had been playing under the name Primordial Desire before you joined us here at Humanity Records. If you’d like to keep that name, I have no issue with it. However, if the four of you wish to come up with a new one, Gunter and I will have to give our input to make sure it sounds appropriate.” Erwin said.

Eren looked at Armin and Mikasa who nodded at him. He turned to Jean to see if the boy had any opinion on the matter but Jean simply shrugged at him nonchalantly. It seemed the others had entrusted the decision to him.

“We’ll go with our old name if that’s okay.” Eren said. They had been discovered under that name, and he wanted them to succeed under it as well.

Erwin nodded in response.

\--- --- ---

“Stop being so stubborn and let’s both just go home.” Jean grumbled as he zipped his bass guitar up in it’s case. 

“I’m gonna kick your ass if your voice is too sore for tomorrow’s recording session.” He said, throwing a glare at Eren who was seated on the floor beside him guzzling down a bottle of water.  
  
“Ok, stop whining. I’ll head home too.” Eren relented.

Jean had a point, they both had stayed late enough today. He really didn’t want to be too tired out to do well in their first recording session after all.

He picked up his bag and walked out of the practice room as Jean turned off the lights and shut the door behind him.

Mikasa and Armin had left an hour earlier at 9pm, both saying they couldn’t take much more of Jean and Eren’s bickering. The two of them tried to convince Jean and Eren to leave along with them, but the two boys stubbornly refused, choosing to practice a little more. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Eren.” Jean said as they reached the entrance of the building. “Don’t chicken out and skip our first session tomorrow.” He called out as he walked down the stairs and turned in a different direction from Eren’s usual path. 

“What? I won’t you dumbass!” Eren shouted back as he turned to leave as well.

“What are you shouting so loud for you shitty brat.” He heard a familiar voice cut through the night air. “Are you trying to make me deaf?” 

Levi was seated on the bench outside they had spoken at the last time. His guitar case occupying the other seat beside him as he rested his chin in his hand looking bored. He was dressed in a white band tee, distressed black jeans and a grey cardigan that looked a little too thin for the weather. He looked like he was waiting for someone. ‘ _Out here? Can’t he wait for Erwin and his band straight at the bar? It’s kind of cold tonight’_ Eren thought, ‘ _Wait unless…’_

“Levi.” Eren said, an exciting possibility just occurring to him. “Were you waiting out here for me?” he couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face when Levi didn’t deny it.

“Don’t look so smug. Didn’t you say you wanted to get to know me better? I thought I’d just throw you a bone since you looked so pathetic the other night. Now hurry up and let me walk you home before I change my mind.” Levi said.

Eren wondered how the man managed to roll his eyes while saying that, making it seem like Eren had asked a ridiculously stupid question, but he was bubbling with happiness on the inside so he didn’t really mind. 

Levi had been sure to make clear that him walking Eren home didn’t mean they were dating or anything like that. 

In his words, “I need to walk through your shitty housing complex to get home and thought I’d just walk you home at night since you like to stay so ridiculously late all the time, you shitty brat, stop smiling to yourself you look deranged.”

For Eren, it was enough for now. Levi even answered the questions about himself that Eren asked him.

He learned that Levi was living alone about seven minutes from Eren’s own apartment. That he liked walking home late at night because it sometimes inspired his composing, and that he owned five guitars and yes, Eren could see them someday.

Eren must have looked disappointed when they reached his apartment all too quickly because Levi rolled his eyes at him.  
  
“Don’t look so abandoned.” Levi said. “We can walk home together tomorrow if we leave at the same time. Now take down my phone number so I can let you know if ‘m leaving earlier.” 

Eren fished a pen out of his pocket and began writing Levi’s number down on the palm of his hand.  
  
“Tch, that’s disgusting. Don’t you have any paper?” Levi grumbled, removing a loose sheet from the notebook he kept in his guitar case. “Here, write it down here, and you might as well write your number down for me too while you’re at it.”

Eren tore the paper in half as neatly as he could manage, noticing that his best efforts still left the edges rough and uneven. Levi accepted the half with Eren’s number on it and put it in his pocket.

Levi stepped forward awkwardly and Eren wondered if the man was going to allow him a goodnight kiss.

He felt himself bend his knees slightly as he closed his eyes and leaned forward. The two of them narrowed the gap between them till Eren could feel Levi’s breath against his own lips. He could hear his heart pounding loudly in his ears in anticipation.

Instead of a kiss however, he felt a warm pat on the top of his head. He opened his eyes to see that Levi had jerked back and was now standing further away from him.

“Goodnight Eren.” Levi said in a strangely strained voice as he turned away.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Explanation for band name may contain spoilers for episode 13*
> 
> Primordial Desire is the name of the 13th episode of SnK, I thought it would be fitting seeing as how mankind finally took back something from the titans through determination and sacrifice (both of which our group has put in to their debut efforts). Also I'd like to think that AU!Eren has wanted to be a singer for as long as he has existed and while the beginning of Eren's life is not quite the beginning of time, I thought it would be close enough :P
> 
> As always thanks for reading! All your lovely comments and kudos helps me get through the week (:
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter!


	6. No Pain, No Gain

“Shit, it’s so cold.” Eren groaned as took off the pair of headphones, and hung them on the music stand that was holding up his music sheet and lyrics.  
  
“I told you not to forget your sweater.” Mikasa reminded him. “You can borrow my scarf if you’d like.” She said as she pulled her guitar strap over her head, and lowered her instrument carefully to the ground so she could stand up for a little stretch.

“Nah, that’s okay.” Eren assured her, shoving his hands in his pockets for some warmth. “If you give it to me you’ll just be cold instead.”

She looked like she was going to reply but a knock on the soundproof glass between the recording area they were in and the rest of the studio interrupted her.

They looked up to see Gunter signal for a ten-minute break through the glass.

“Mike must be happy with that run we just recorded.” Jean said with a yawn. “I’m going to take a quick nap, wake me up in ten.” He said to Eren, not waiting for a response before striding out of the recording area and throwing himself down on the long couch in the control room.

Eren stepped out of the recording area with Mikasa, and sat himself down in the space beside Jean.

“Hey.” He said to Armin as the blonde emerged from a smaller isolation booth.  

“Hey!” Armin replied. He seemed especially pleased to be out in the control room of the studio with the other three, having been stuck recording in a smaller room separately from the rest of his band to avoid the loud sounds from his drums being caught accidentally by the other microphones meant for someone else’s instrument.

The shorter boy was attempting to squeeze his drumsticks into the front pockets of his jeans to allow his hands the freedom to twist open the cap on the bottle of cola Gunter had thrown to him. Mikasa took the pair of drumsticks from him, and he gave her a slight smile in thanks.

“I guess we’ve got the basic track for this song laid.” Armin said, taking a swig from the bottle before screwing the cap back on and offering the drink to Mikasa. He walked over to the front of the control room and pulled up a chair to listen to the discussion between Mike and Nanaba, the other audio engineer.

Eren now understood why their pre-production schedule had been so grueling. The recording process was so much smoother when each part of every song had been tightly arranged beforehand, and with every member playing their part perfectly as practiced.

The band had practiced so much before even stepping into the studio that almost all the basic tracks were laid within the first three recordings, with more time being invested into recording additional takes and solos so Mike and Nanaba could mix the tracks to their satisfaction.

As exhausted as the band was from the past eight days, it was likely that mike and Nanaba were a lot more overworked than the band themselves. They had been staying back late long after the four of them had left to mix the tracks; painstakingly overdubbing individual instrument tracks and vocals till it sounded just right.

It seemed that the company was in a rush to debut them, wanting to take advantage of the lull in the music market before a rival company put out a new act, and everything was being done as quickly as possible. It helped that more than half of the songs that they were recording were their own original material that they had refined over the years, and as such had finished recording with astronomical speed.

He knew Armin was particularly interested in participating in the process of mixing the tracks because he had written and composed most of the band’s original material. It seemed that Mike and Nanaba enjoyed hearing his input as well, as it allowed them to work more quickly rather than experiment slowly to figure out how the song would sound best.

There was a soft knock at the door of the studio before it opened gently.  
  
Petra stuck her head in through the small opening. “I hope we’re not disturbing you guys! We wanted to check in and see how it’s going.” She said.  
  
“Not at all, please come in.” Gunter responded, helping her open the door fully.  
  
Auro and Erd stepped into the room behind her carrying two boxes of doughnuts in their arms, followed by Hanji and Levi.

Eren quickly sat upright and tried to flatten the creases on his shirt by sliding his fingers firmly along the unsightly folds. Jean appeared to be rousing from the noise made by the newcomers and was actively rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  
  
“Being the generous and encouraging seniors we are, we brought you all some doughnuts.” Auro said as he set the boxes he was carrying down on the table beside the couch.

“We brought paper plates too, so there won’t be crumbs on the floors.” Erd added.

“Don’t forget to use those kiddies, wouldn’t want to be stuck here vacuuming the carpet all night under the strict supervision of Levi now do we?” Hanji said.

She leaned over to pull Eren closer to her as she whispered conspiratorially, “Of course if you’d like I could accidentally bump into you, and you could drop your entire plate on the floor.”

“Uh, no thanks Hanji.” Eren said as the tips of his ears reddened.

“Well the offer still stands.” She said, winking at him.

He gave her a weak smile as he rubbed his hands together for some warmth.  
  
Levi appeared to be in a deep discussion regarding the progress of the recording with Mike and Nanabe. Eren wondered for a second if he would even get a chance to talk to the man. Levi seemed keener on finding out how the album was sounding so far rather than socialising.

Eren let out a small sigh as he chewed on the edge on his doughnut as he realised Levi hadn’t even acknowledge his presence in the room at all. They hadn’t had a chance to see each other ever since they exchanged numbers because of Eren’s recording schedule, and the man hadn’t even bothered saying hello now that they were in the same room.

“Okay guys, work hard! We won’t disturb you any longer.” Petra said as she and the rest stood up to leave. Levi disengaged himself from the conversation with Mike and Nanaba to leave with his band, and Eren noted with disappointment that it seems that he wouldn’t get a chance to talk to him.

Eren put his plate down gently, preparing to re-enter the recording area when he felt something soft hit him in the face.

 “What kind of idiot doesn’t bring a jacket to a freezing cold recording studio?” Levi said.

Eren blinked blankly at the older man and then looked down on his lap to inspect the soft object that had been flung in his face. A jacket?

“Don’t get crumbs on it, shitty brat.” Levi said as he walked to the door. “I expect it cleaned before you return it.” He said before leaving the studio.

\--- --- ---

Eren lay in his bed fiddling the sheet of paper Levi had written his number down on. He hadn’t been able to walk home with the man since he had been leaving with Armin and Mikasa after their recording sessions, and wanted to talk to him.  
  
He worried his bottom lip with his teeth, Levi wouldn’t have given Eren his number if he had an issue with receiving texts from him right?

Eren grabbed his phone resolutely, deciding not to over-think matters. He quickly typed in a message and hit send before he could change his mind.

 _To: Levi_  
Sender: Eren  
Time: 23:43  
Thanks for lending me your jacket ^0^ I’ll wash and return it to you when I next see you

He flopped back down on the bed on his stomach, he regretted sending the text almost immediately. ‘ _Was that emoticon too lame?_ ’ Eren groaned into the mattress, Levi was going to roll his eyes when he read the text.

He turned back on his back and closed his eyes, willing himself to fall asleep. Eren slowly felt himself lose consciousness before a sharp buzz jerked him back awake.  
  
 _To: Eren_  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 23:57  
You better not have wanked off to it brat.

 _To: Levi_  
Sender: Eren  
Time: 23:59  
Not yet ;D Just kidding. (Probably)

 _To: Eren_  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:00  
…Gross

 _To: Levi_  
Sender: Eren  
Time: 00:04  
Sorry :( Anyways, what were you and mike and nanaba busy discussing? You didn’t even come say hi

 _To: Eren_  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:05  
Checking that you weren’t sounding shitty and embarrassing the company.

 _To: Levi_  
Sender: Eren  
Time: 00:06  
How did I do?  
  
To: Eren  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:06  
Not bad

 _To: Levi_  
Sender: Eren  
Time: 00:07  
:D :D :D  
  
To: Eren  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:08  
Stop gloating. Go to sleep

 _To: Eren_  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:09  
Ok. Goodnight Levi, sweet dreams :)  
  
To: Eren  
Sender: Levi  
Time: 00:55  
Goodnight.

\--- --- ---

Eren sat quietly beside Armin out of the way, as they watched the crew film Mikasa walking across the field, the sunlight catching in her hair as she looked pensively into nothing.

“Cut. Okay Mikasa, that was a good one. Can we try it one more time like that but can you slow down a little more towards the end?” The director said.  
  
Mikasa nodded and returned to her starting position to try the scene once more.  
  
Eren fiddled with his ipod while waiting for his next turn to film while Armin concentrated on his book.

At the beginning of the day, they had both paid rapt attention to every scene that was being shot even if they weren’t in it, but as the day waned, so had their interest. Only Jean still looked on captivated as Mikasa shot her scenes.  
  
They had finished recording all the basic tracks as well as the additional solo vocals and instruments tracks yesterday, and their schedule had been updated to include other pre-promotional activity, which is why they were on location to film their first music video for their title track.

The afternoon was really making Eren sweat and he hoped it wasn’t melting off his make-up. He didn’t want to have to sit through another fifteen minute touch-up with the make-up artist, who seemed convinced that he didn’t have quite enough shimmery highlighter on his cheek bones no matter how much she applied.

Eren absently thumbed through his old text messages, pausing to re-read the one Levi had sent him this morning wishing him good luck for the shoot and smiled to himself.

A Wings of Liberty song started playing on his ipod and he turned the volume on a little louder. He wondered if Levi’s music videos took this long to film as well, they always seemed so effortless, with more shots of the band actually playing, rather than including gratuitous shots, like the many of Eren gazing intently into the camera that the director had him film today.  
  
He supposed it was because Wings of Liberty were a more full-on rock band whereas Erwin was trying a softer concept with Primordial Desire, which he said would commensurate well with their younger ages.

The shoot finally ended at sundown, and the four of them piled into the company van. Eren’s legs were aching slightly. The director had made him film his short dance choreography multiple times, with the camera shooting from different angles, and it had left him more than a little sore.

“I hope you guys aren’t too tired. Erwin has invited you all to join us all for some food and drinks to celebrate today’s filming.” Gunter said from the front seat of the van.

“Drinks?” Jean asked, perking up slightly at the possibility of alcohol.  
  
“Well, he probably wouldn’t mind if you guys had a glass or two on account of your hard work, but don’t go getting drunk, you’re all still underage.” Gunter replied.

Eren looked out of the van, watching the scenery whizz past the window.  
  
Eventually the scenery outside got a lot more familiar and he realised that they were near the company building. They must be headed for the bar near the office that he knew the older staff members liked to visit.

The van came to a stop and the four of them and Gunter got off the vehicle, and waved goodbye to the driver. They followed Gunter through a back entrance, which they were allowed through without so much as a second glance.

Eren felt slightly out of place, having never stepped into such an establishment before, and the dim lighting of the place was making him feel uncommonly sleepy. He suppressed as yawn as they entered what seemed to be a private room.

Erwin spotted them as they entered the room and made a move towards them.

“Good job today guy. I heard the shoot went really well. I hope you don’t mind coming out here right after, we thought you might like to celebrate with us. It’s kind of a company tradition.” Erwin said.

“We don’t mind!” Armin answered brightly, as the rest of them smiled at him in reply.

“Look who’s heeeeere!” Hanji said as she bounded over, appearing slightly intoxicated. “Congrats on your first mv filming.” She added cheerfully.

“I hope you watched some of our videos beforehand to learn from the pros.” Auro said as he ran his fingers through his hair in a deliberate fashion.

Eren let himself be dragged to a table laden with food, while Armin, Mikasa and Jean seemed content to chat with Auro.  
  
Eren’s stomach grumbled at the sight of the variety of food, and he bent over to grab a slice of pizza.  
  
“That’s disgusting.” Levi interrupted. “Wash your hands first. Who knows what shit you’ve touched today.” He said.  
  
Eren’s eyes lit up brightly as he turned to face the man. He had been hoping to see Levi tonight; it would be nice to finally have some time to talk to him face to face.

“Levi!” He called out happily.

“What? Didn’t you hear me?” Levi said, face as impassive as ever.

“Seriously? I’m starving and I swear I wiped my hands with some wet tissues on the way here.” Eren groaned.

“Like I believe you.” Levi replied.

Eren sighed in resignation. “Okay, where’s the washroom?” he asked.

When he returned, he noticed that Levi was sitting in the corner of the room with two drinks in hand, and a slice of the pizza Eren had wanted on a plate in front of him.  
  
He looked out for his bandmates and spotted Mikasa who seemed to be enjoying herself talking to Petra and Jean, while Armin appeared to be having a deep conversation with Erd.

Eren walked over to where Levi was and sat down beside him. Levi pushed the second glass and plate towards him.

“You get one drink only. I’m not going to be responsible for you puking your guts out everywhere.” Levi said, taking a sip of his own glass.

Eren nodded and took a gulp of his drink, trying not to make a face at the taste of it. He swallowed the liquid and felt a slow burn as it made his way down his chest.

“They sure didn’t go easy on the make-up. You’re glowing like a disco ball.” Levi said.

Eren took a bite of his pizza and nodded, telling Levi all about the filming. As the night wore on, he noticed Levi was getting more and more relaxed the more he drank, Eren swore he saw an almost-smile on Levi’s face at one point.

Eren turned his chair around to observe the room as Levi left to refill his drink again and to talk to Erwin for a little while. Soft music was wafting in from outside the room and a number of people had begun to dance in the middle of the room. He fought to stifle a laugh as he noticed Erd and Gunter dancing together in a rather uncoordinated fashion.

Levi returned, setting down an extra cup for Eren. The boy supposed he must have decided his ‘one drink only’ rule. He thanked the man and took a sip from the glass, turning back to look at the makeshift dance floor.  
  
He snorted into his glass as he noticed Hanji dancing animatedly with Armin. She was holding on to his hands and waving them around as he tried to maintain some semblance of dignity while participating in her strange dance.

He turned Levi, wanting to point out this oddity, but was struck by a sudden thought.

“Hey.” Eren said. “Do you want to dance?” He asked as he schooled his features into what he hoped was a persuasively adorable expression.

He braced himself for a thump to the head, but Levi must have been drunker than Eren realised because the man simply put his glass down and said okay.

“If you step on my shoes, you’re dead.” Levi reminded him, as he pulled the taller boy towards him, placing his hands on his waist.

Eren took in a sharp intake of breath, trying to remain calm despite his close proximity to Levi. He could smell the woody undertone of the man’s cologne, and he tried to concentrate on not stepping on Levi.

The two swayed to the music slowly, and Eren felt Levi lean in slightly more, wrapping his arms round him tighter. Levi’s body heat washing over his own skin turned to feeling Levi’s body pressed flush against his own, and Eren hoped that Levi wouldn’t notice the growing hardness that was against the man’s stomach.

He whimpered softly as Levi shifted slightly, rubbing accidently against Eren’s groin.

“What? Are you feeling unwell?” Levi asked sharply at the sound.

Eren shook his head.

“You better not be getting turned on by this or some shit.” Levi said.  
  
Eren flushed under Levi’s gaze, breaking away from the older man. He turned to see Mikasa and Armin approach them.  
  
“Eren, ready to go?” Armin asked.  
  
“Yeah, okay. Give me a minute. I’ll meet you all at the exit.” He said.

They nodded and walked away. Eren turned around to face Levi.  
  
“Um, I’m gonna go first.” He said.  
  
“Do whatever you want.” Levi replied, bringing his glass to his lips.

He sighed at the disappointed look that filled Eren’s eyes and raised his right hand to ruffle the boy’s hair.

“Goodnight Eren. Text me when you’re home.” Levi added.  
  
This seemed to satisfy Eren who bounded off happily, leaving Levi staring unhappily at his right hand, which was now coated in a fine layer of hair product residue.

“Ugh. Hair wax.” He said, wondering how much he would be able to wipe on Hanji without her noticing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do let me know if you spot any mistakes, I don't have a beta and I'm usually quite exhausted when I update this fic. Anyways, I hope you liked this chapter, I'd love to hear what you think!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do take note of the change in rating/tags, in case you aren't into that sort of thing.

Hanji watched as Levi stubbed out his third cigarette. The man had a sour expression on his face, his lips tightly drawn together as if resisting the urge to say something caustic. She kept silent, making little notes in her well-used journal, knowing better than to make idle conversation at a time like this. She was glad that the café they had met was fairly empty. A few noisy strangers could really set Levi off in such a state.

Despite appearing generally irritable and unapproachable, Levi was rarely ever in a genuinely bad mood. He also rarely ever smoked, finding the habit to cause more trouble than it was worth. Hanji supposed he didn’t like the mess the loose ash made, nor the distinct lingering scent of smoke that would cling to his clothes. Watching Levi light his fourth cigarette up, it was quite apparent that something was bothering him.

He had been in a good mood when he left the gathering they had to celebrate the first successful filming from Primordial Desire.  He and Hanji had left the lounge bar at closing time for supper together where he good-naturedly parried her questions and suggestions about Eren rather than threatening to punch her in the face to shut her up. It wasn’t something that happened at the party then. Levi hadn’t stepped into the studio today either, so it couldn’t have been work -related. Which meant that whatever upset him must have been something related to his personal life, and Hanji didn’t like the sound of that.

In all the years that Hanji had known Levi, there was only one thing that could make his mood decline so quickly, and she knew better than to bring it up. He would talk when he was ready, and so the two sat in silence.

It was a good fifteen minutes later did Levi break the dead air between them.

“I need to get a new phone.” He said without turning to address Hanji.  
  
“Oh? What happened to the phone you already have?” Hanji asked as she closed her journal now that Levi was ready to talk.

“I threw it against the wall and it broke.” Levi replied, his voice was steady, betraying no trace of the emotion that led him to hurl the unoffending device against a wall.

“He called this morning.” Levi continued, eyes focused on the space in front of him.

There was no explanation of who the ‘he’ was, but it didn’t seem like Hanji needed one. Her eyes darkened even as a concerned expression came over her face.

“Did…he want something?” Hanji asked, her voice full of hesitation.

“Does he ever call me for anything else?” he asked, almost allowing a bitterness to enter his voice. “Of course I told him to fuck off. I probably could have handled the situation a little better. Erwin is not going to like it if that piece of shit slinks off to the press like he’s always threatening to. Not like they’d buy anything coming from someone like him.”

Hanji took a second to digest this information, it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, but each instance was never more pleasant than the last.

“If he tries anything, Erwin will handle it. He has enough contacts to block anything too unpleasant from the media. Let’s just replace that phone of yours, a new number might be good too.” Hanji said soothingly, making a move to bring herself to her feet.

“I’m not in the mood.” Levi said flatly as he got to his feet. “I’ll get going first.”  
  
“Levi, wait–“ Hanji tried to stop him

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.” He said, giving her one last nod as he walked out of sight.

\--- --- ---

Levi had spent the rest of the day lying on his bed listening to old CDs he hadn’t dug out in years. He itched for a smoke just to have something to do with his hands but he couldn’t bring himself to have a cigarette in his room. The curtains would hold the smell of smoke far longer than he would be able to stand, and he wasn’t in the mood to do an extra round of laundry.

It was nightfall before he felt any inclination to move. Without thinking, his feet led him back to a familiar bench outside his workplace. Levi sat himself down and felt momentary thankfulness that he had the presence of mind to pull on a thicker jacket before he left home. The night air was already nipping gently at his face and he hoped he wouldn’t have to wait for long. It was guesswork really, based on Eren’s passing mention of his schedule for the day when the boy had texted him yesterday after reaching home. It didn’t matter, Levi didn’t want to stew alone in his room any longer, and the fresh air would help him clear his mind a little at least.

He didn’t even have the option of texting the brat now that his phone was a mess of broken plastic and wires lying at the bottom of his trashcan. Not that he would have anyway, texting Eren meant admitting to himself that he wanted to see the kid’s face, and so, Levi simply waited.

He waited until he heard the warm sound of chatter approach him, and he looked up to find familiar green eyes taking stock of his presence. Eren was wearing a thick navy jacket today, making his lean frame look bulkier than usual. His hands were stuffed into the pocket of his jeans, presumably for warmth and his cheeks were a little reddened by the cool air. He was accompanied by Armin and Mikasa, who did not seem quite so bundled up as he was.

The three of them paused at the sight of him, and Levi noticed that Mikasa and Armin exhchanged glances behind Eren’s back. The taller boy seemed not to notice, instead, he broke into a smile and took a step towards Levi.

“Levi! I tried to call you earlier, but I couldn’t get through. I figured you might have stayed home today.” Eren said.

His two companions had stepped away a small distance and Levi felt grateful for the privacy they had afforded him. He wondered if the brat had told his friends about his interactions with him. The boy didn’t look like he had yet mastered the art of discretion.

“I don’t have my phone with me,” Levi allowed himself a small pause, “Tell your friends to go on home first.” He managed to bite out.

“If you’d like.” Levi added as an afterthought, choosing that moment to break eye contact.

His gaze focused on a stray leaf on the ground, hell bent on avoiding Eren’s line of vision. He felt an unfamiliar apprehension; he wasn’t sure if it was because he was desperate for some unoffending company to sweeten his foul mood but he really longed to spend some time with the boy alone.

A look of confusion overcame Eren’s face for a second before he understood what Levi was asking for. Eren felt a small flutter of excitement at the thought that Levi wanted to see him. The boy walked over to his sister and his friend, fighting to keep a smile off his face as he told them to go ahead without him.

Mikasa looked suspicious at his request, but thankfully Armin had convinced her to leave without too many questions, though the look she threw him as she left was enough to warn Eren that he had some explaining to look for to.

Levi was still sitting squarely on the bench, and Eren took the chance to admire him. Levi cut an impressive figure despite his height, and there was something so powerfully sensual about his detached exterior and steely demeanor that made Eren go weak in the knees for half a second. He suspected Levi found his fan boy act more tiring than endearing and so he tried to harden himself, if not for Levi, than to stop himself from seeming too overeager.

Eren forced himself to walk over to Levi casually rather than rush over like he really wanted to do and seated himself a respectable distance from the older man. He told a Levi a few inconsequential things about his day and received several noncommittal sounds in reply.

“And then Mikasa walked into the room while Jean was still wearing that skirt we found. I swear he nearly pissed himself in embarrassment.” Eren recounted animatedly despite not being sure if Levi was really listening to him or not.

Eren tried to hide his disappointment about not getting a response from Levi. Levi was normally reticent, but this was unusually quiet even by his standards.

“Is something bothering you?” Eren ventured. “Am I talking too much again? You can tell me to shut up if you’d rather not hear my stupid stories.” He brought a hand to flatten his hair down absently.

“You seem a little pissed off. Is it something I did? It is isn’t it? Is it because I got Jean to wear that skirt and wasted time instead of practicing?” Eren asked, his brows twisted in contrition.

Levi raised an eyebrow. Did the boy really think he was that much of a hard-ass?

He rapped his knuckles gently across the Eren’s forehead, causing the boy to recoil slightly.

“If you’re going to feel bad for slacking off, then why do it in the first place?” Levi asked.

“I am pissed off. Just not at you. Your stupidity has yet to offend me today.”

Eren looked curiously at him, eyes full of questions.

“Remember when you asked me about why I became a singer?” Levi continued.

Eren nodded silently, fiddling with the edge of his jacket but kept a firm gaze on Levi

“I had a pretty shit time growing up. You probably already knew that much from reading my old interviews. It’s only ever been my father and me, I never knew my mother except that she split once she had me. She never wanted a kid, and neither did my Dad, but he was stuck with me, and he never let me forget it.”  
  
Levi paused for a second to gather his thoughts before continuing.  
  
“Growing up I used to mess around on my dad’s guitars since there was nothing else around the house for a child to play with. He couldn’t afford any music lessons, and even if he could he would never have wasted money on me like that, so I just figured it out myself. I was just a nuisance to him, and he liked to live like I wasn’t even there; smoking and drinking around the house with his shitty gambling friends. I never cared enough to do well in school, but music, I was good at that. As soon as I was old enough I started sneaking into bars to play, the money wasn’t good, but I never had money before so it was enough for me.”  
  
“Anyways, I was doing it more to get out of the house than anything, and people that actually liked my music and not treating me like shit was pretty good too. When my father found out what I was doing, he started demanding money from me. Whatever little chicken shit change I got from playing at half-empty bars. Demanding it from me like he had the right.”  
  
Levi had his hands balled up in such tight fists that his nails cut shallow crescent imprints into his palm. Eren kept silent, knowing that Levi was far from over.  
  
“I gave him a small cut just to get him off my back, and I saved the rest so I could leave and start my own life anywhere else. Even when I left it didn’t stop, no matter how many times I moved he would pop up like a fucking rat. He would come around with some phony act about how he just wants to spend more time with me and be a better father to me which is the worst fucking part about the whole deal. When I made it big, I wrote him a cheque and told him to go to hell. He still rings me up once a year or so when he runs out of money, and all these things I’ve tried to forget come right up to the surface again.”  
  
“I feel angrier at myself that he can still get under my skin than anything else. It feels like no matter what I do, I can’t cut myself loose from him.”  
  
Levi let himself soak in the feeling of getting his words out in the open. If nothing else, it was cathartic though a sense of self-reproach still burned at the bottom of his stomach. Eren still hadn’t said a word, maybe the brat finally realised he was in over his head and made a run for it.  
  
Levi felt a warm hand cover his own, which then unfolded his fist and slipped in between his fingers to clasp him tightly. Eren was staring at him and Levi was struck for a second by how unguarded the boy’s eyes were. He could read every single emotion the boy was feeling right now.  
  
“I know that it probably doesn’t mean much to you but I’m really sorry you had to go through all that. I’m not really good with words, but if it makes you feel better I’d go kick your dad’s ass for you.” Eren offered.  
  
Levi almost laughed, but the earnest look in Eren’s eyes told him that the boy had meant every word.  
  
He felt himself soften at how absolutely guileless Eren was, how he had no agenda, no hidden intentions, except for what was written plainly on his face. Levi felt the faint stirrings of affection for him grow as Eren squeezed Levi’s hand unabashedly, as if celebrating the fact that Levi had yet to deliver a kick to his face in return for his boldness.  
  
“Do you want to come over to my place?” Levi asked suddenly, his voice not betraying any sign of emotion.  
  
Eren looked pleased at being asked, his eyes lit up at the suggestion and he said that he would love to without any hesitation. The two walked quietly the rest of the way, Levi hadn’t shrugged Eren’s hand off his own yet, and so Eren held onto the older man’s hand resolutely all the way to Levi’s apartment.  
  
It turned out he really did live barely ten minutes away from Eren, though the area his apartment was in was much nicer than anything Eren would be able to afford. He tried to take note of the route there, but it was honestly hard to concentrate on anything but the feel of Levi’s hand in his.  
  
They took the lift up, and Eren barely registered the floor they were on before stepping through the front door.  
  
“Your apartment is really neat.” Eren said though he had not expected anything but. He took off his shoes and placed them neatly by the entrance as he stepped into Levi’s place, mindful not to track any dirt onto the pristine floor tiles.  
  
The place was sparsely decorated, yet it did not look as if Levi had simply given up furnishing the place halfway. There were none of the usual knick-knacks that would be laid around a house to make it lived-in, nothing that could trap dust or require a shifting back into position if it was casually picked-up, yet each piece of furniture looked so thoughtfully picked out to match the rest of the apartment that it lent the place a warm presence. This was definitely a home, and not just someplace Levi came to sleep at night.

“Here, you can hang your jacket up by the door.” Levi said as he pointed to a coat stand that stood a little out of the way.

The boy removed his jacket, his white shirt lifting up slightly to reveal his flat, toned stomach as he did so. Levi averted his eyes, he didn’t want to be caught staring.

“Do you want a beer? I’m going to get one.” Levi asked as he gestured for Eren to take a seat on his couch. The boy hesitated for a second before nodding.

The couch was lined up against a wall, which had an impressive-looking set of speakers mounted on it. Eren threw himself down against the comfy surface and scooted over to the side to examine the CD rack that stood beside it.

“Wow, you must really like The Smiths!” Eren called out as he examined the man’s collection.

Levi set the two cans of beer down on the table after laying down two coasters. He cracked open his can and took a seat beside Eren.  
  
“I do. You can test out my speakers if you want.” He offered.

Eren looked excited at the prospect. He got up choosing a CD from the rack and inserted it into the player, before sinking back down beside Levi and opening his can.

The music filled the apartment, and Eren had to admit that despite the lack of furniture in Levi’s home, he had spared to expense in outfitting his sound system. The boy closed his eyes and leaned back, content to enjoy Levi’s presence beside him.

The first track ended and Eren cracked open his eyes to see that Levi had swung an arm around the back of his seat and he felt himself smile in response. The man had his eyes closed and he looked more relaxed than Eren had ever seen him.  
  
Eren had never been one for thinking things through, he found that it tended to complicate things and he had felt uncomfortable not acting on what he wanted to do, which is why in that moment he made a decision. He moved, placing his knees on either side of Levi’s lap, hovering for a second before gently setting himself down.  
  
Levi’s eyes sprung open in surprise at the sudden weight straddling his lap. Eren looked slightly nervous, like he wasn’t convinced what he was doing was actually a good idea, but he was spurred on by the fact that he hadn’t been shoved off yet.  
  
He leaned forward, covering Levi’s lips with his own. His mouth parted in surprise when he felt Levi kissing him back, and he hoped the older man knew what he was doing because he really didn’t. He felt a tongue snake into his mouth, and he let out a soft groan as Levi’s tongue massaged his own. He sucked softly on Levi’s lower lip and he heard the man let out a stifled moan.

“Let me see you.” Levi said as he pulled away from Eren, taking the boy’s face in his hands and bringing it close to him till they touched foreheads. Eren opened his eyes, and it pleased Levi greatly to see lust swirl in those beautiful green eyes.

Levi shoved his hands past the band of Eren’s jeans and squeezed his butt firmly, causing Eren to arch up against his and he caught the boy’s mouth once more. Eren wound his arms around the back of Levi’s neck as they continued to kiss roughly. Levi continued massaging Eren’s ass through his boxers, trying not to think of how it would feel like to slide his cock between the two mounds he now had his hands busy with.

The kid was moaning unabashedly into Levi’s mouth now, and he was kissing back hot, desperate and wet. Eren has his fingers twisted tightly around the front of Levi’s shirt and the boy was moving his hips to rub his groin against the front seam of Levi’s jeans.  
  
Levi grinded back harshly, wanting to see Eren come completely undone, before bringing his hands to work on the buttons of Eren’s jeans. He quickly pulled the jeans off Eren, flinging them to the side, trying hard to ignore his urge to fold them. Levi didn’t give Eren a chance to adjust to sitting in his boxers because those were efficiently stripped off him as well, leaving the boy naked from waist down, with his cock standing proudly.

Eren had the decency to look embarrassed as he self-consciously pulled his tee shirt lower in a fruitless attempt to cover himself.

“What are you blushing like a virgin for? Come back here and sit on my lap, weren’t you happily grinding against me a second ago?” Levi asked, refusing to speak delicately.

Eren tried to stammer a reply, but was yanked back onto Levi’s lap before he could say a word.

Levi spat into his palm before fisting Eren’s cock roughly. Eren let out a moan at the direct contact, covering his face with his hands as he felt himself go red at the shameless sounds he was emitting.

“Listen to yourself getting so worked up over a handjob. I’ll bet you sound real pretty while being fucked.” He purred into Eren’s ear as he circled the tip gently with his thumb.

Eren whimpered slightly, almost losing it at Levi’s words. It was one thing to fantasize about how Levi would feel inside him alone in his room at night, and quite another to hear the man reference his very fantasy.

“I’ll bet your hole is as cute as your cock too.” Levi added as he continued pumping Eren.

Eren swore softly in between the moans escaping his mouth; he should have known Levi’s mouth would be even dirtier during sex. Not that he had any real problem with it, judging by the hardness of his cock, it seemed he quite enjoyed it.

“Have you been complimented like this before? Has some pretty boy back home told you how fucking gorgeous your body is?” Levi asked.

“I…” Eren tried, but Levi didn’t seem to be too interested in his reply, choosing instead to jerk Eren faster as he slipped his free hand down Eren’s back to slide in between Eren’s buttocks, barely caressing his hole.

The sensation of Levi skimming his fingers lightly over his entrance sent Eren over the edge, and he came messily over Levi’s shirt.

Eren let his forehead fall onto Levi’s shoulder as he panted.

“I’ve never done that before.” Eren admitted.

They sat there in silence for awhile before Levi gently nudged Eren off his lap.

“I’m going to change my shirt.” Levi said, moving to get off the couch.

“Wait. What about you?” Eren asked, looking meaningfully at Levi’s bulging crotch.

“That won’t be necessary.” Levi said, sounding strangely contrite. He coughed into his hand, and moved to ruffle Eren’s hair.

“I’ll get you some clothes. You should stay over, it’s late. The bedroom is over there, take a shower if you want and then get to bed.” Levi said before leaving the room.

Eren frowned as he pulled his boxers on. He had just received a handjob from the man of his dreams and was staying the night in his apartment, so why did it feel so strangely like he had just received a rejection?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued support guys! I really appreciate all the kudos and comments you send my way. I love you all <3


	8. Growing Pains

If it weren’t for the urgent fullness of his bladder, Eren would have preferred to stay silent in the bed for a little while longer. He pressed the soles of his feet down carefully against the coolness of the white tiles, taking extra care to ensure that he was being completely quiet.

Listlessness filled his entire body, probably a result of the amount of time he had spent tossing and turning as opposed to sleeping last night. Levi’s bed had been uncommonly soft and comfortable but it didn’t feel right to sleep so peacefully in the man’s bed when he wasn’t even sure if things were alright between them. The man had retired for the night on the couch, refusing Eren’s offer to trade the bed with him. To make things worse, the sheets smelt so strongly of Levi that he was constantly half-aroused, which certainly didn’t help him fall asleep easily at all.

He twisted the doorknob to the washroom gently, easing the door open to avoid any creaking. He was thankful that there was an adjoining bathroom to Levi’s bedroom.

It wasn’t that he was actively avoiding the older man, but he didn’t feel too keen on facing whatever pervading awkwardness was between the two of them so early in the morning. He didn’t fully grasp why Levi had suddenly become so abrupt with him last night, but he wasn’t too dense to realise that the atmosphere had become charged.  

Eren aimed carefully into the pristine-white bowl, taking extra care to empty his bladder more slowly than usual. He hesitated slightly before unscrewing the cap of Levi’s mouthwash; the man would probably mind Eren’s morning breath more than the boy using some of his mouthwash. He splashed his face with some water before wiping himself dry with the sleeve of the shirt he was wearing.

He could hear sounds of movement from outside the room; Levi seemed to have woken up by now. Eren collected himself for a second before opening the room door and stepping out.

The smell of brewing coffee wafted through the air, and Eren instinctively turned towards the kitchen. He spotted Levi standing there with his back turned to him, stiffly stirring something sitting atop the stove.

“Good morning.” Eren called out.

Levi turned slightly to face him as he stifled a yawn. He was still wearing the clothes he had on last night, and looked more ruffled than Eren had ever seen him. Miraculously he still managed to look every bit as attractive as he usually did, though Eren wasn’t sure if that was just his bias showing.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Levi said as he balanced the spatula he was holding on the edge of a plate. “I made you some eggs.”

He poured the contents of the pan into a shallow bowl and placed it down onto the table. Eren sat down and murmured his thanks, drawing the plate towards him.

Levi untied the new-looking apron he was wearing and slung it across the back of an unused chair.

“Eat it before it gets cold.” Levi said as he walked into his bedroom, stretching his arms above his head as he left.  
  
Eren took a bite of the scrambled eggs that lay before him, and choked slightly on the taste. He had no doubt in his mind that Levi was one of the most talented persons he had ever met. The man could sing, he could write amazing music, he could keep a home of this size completely spotless, but it was safe to say that cooking was not one of his many talents.  
  
He spooned another bite into his mouth, hoping that he would adjust to the unusual flavour, but it had remained as unpalatable as the first mouthful.  
  
Levi stepped out of his room wearing a fresh shirt and a towel around his shoulders, which he was dabbing his face gingerly with. He sat down across from Eren and pulled his cup of black coffee towards him.  
  
Eren pushed the food around on his plate for a little while, wondering how much he would have to swallow to avoid offending Levi. He braced himself before scooping a generous spoonful and chewed it purposefully.

“It’s not very good is it?” Levi admitted, after watching the boy struggle for a few minutes. “I don’t cook very often.”

“Ah no, it tastes fine.” Eren said as he averted his eyes to the table, and took a bigger bite.

Levi did not respond, nor did he comment on the pretty shade of pink Eren’s ears had taken on, and the two fell into a silence punctuated by the occasional clink of Eren’s fork against the plate.  
  
Eren pushed the plate away from himself when he was done, unsure of whether he was meant to excuse himself and leave.  
  
“About last night…” Levi said, sounding almost unsure of what he was meant to say. Eren looked up from his plate, but Levi was pointedly avoiding his gaze.

“I’m sorry I let it get out of hand. I wasn’t intending to go that far.” Levi said.

Eren felt a rush of blood to his head. He wasn’t intending to go that far? Was that how Levi was intending to brush him off? He didn’t have a frame of reference for this type of scenario but he knew a half-assed turndown when he heard one.

Last night, he had shrugged off all the questions he had, not wanting to seem more clueless than usual. Wasn’t this what adults did? Act casual about these sort of physical interactions? So he let himself be swept up in the moment and in the feel of Levi against him, so much so that he hadn’t stopped to consider the implications.  
  
Eren had always just done what he wanted, as long as it never hurt anybody else, but it was clear right now that something had changed between them, and the only one getting hurt was himself.

“What do you mean _you_ let it get out of hand? I was there too remember?” Eren said, willing his voice to remain neutral. “You weren’t the only one with a part to play in this. We-we did it together.”

Levi kept silent, maintaining a stoic look on his face, and somehow this set Eren off even more.

“Do you just expect me to go away quietly now?” Eren asked, his hands rolled tightly into fists by his side.

Levi spared him an apologetic look, and Eren had to bite his lip to stop himself from backing down.  
  
“I don’t expect anything from you Eren. This, this whole thing –I should have stopped. It’s not something you’re ready for yet.”

“I’m not ready yet?” Eren echoed hollowly. “Precisely what am I not ready for? Are you really bringing up my age again?”  
  
Eren’s chair fell back as he stood up abruptly. He wasn’t quite sure why Levi’s words had pissed him off so much, all he knew was that he was tired of trying if Levi was never going to look past his age.

“So what? I’m too young to date but not too young to fuck around with?” Eren yelled, afraid that if he didn’t lash out then that the tears that were threatening to roll down his face would do just that.

“Eren, calm down, that’s not what I–”

“NO! Don’t tell me to calm down!” Eren yelled over him before he could even stop himself.

“You keep bringing up my age but we both know it isn’t even about that! And you’re a shitty fucking human being for using that against me when you know it’s not something I can change!” Eren shouted at him.  
  
He was so angry that he wasn’t sure if the things he was letting himself say even made any sense, but he was past the point of caring. All he wanted to do was leave before he gave in to the throbbing deep in his chest and lets himself cry.

He almost tripped over the carpet on his way to the door, and he vaguely realised with disappointment that Levi hadn’t followed him out into the living room. He picked up his bag and left, realising belatedly that he was still in the clothes that Levi had let him sleep in.

It was in the lift ride down that Eren realised he was crying. He wiped away the tears angrily with the back of his hand, and reached into his bag for his phone.

The messages and missed calls on it were from Mikasa and Armin who had apparently been dissatisfied with his “Staying over at a friend’s, don’t wait up” text. He shakily typed back a cursory reply, trying to distract himself from the dull pang he felt and the wetness on his face.

He walked the rest of the way home accompanied only by the sounds of his occasional sniffling. He hated the sound of it, it made him feel more like a child so he tried to hold it in, but it only resulted in him hiccupping loudly when his chest ached for air.

Mikasa opened the door, and Eren braced himself for a bitter scolding , but he must have been in worse shape than he had imagined because she just pulled him inside and enveloped him in a warm hug.

For that moment he let himself go soft in her arms. He felt so very tired and so downtrodden, and he knew then that it wasn’t because Levi had treated him like a child, it was because he was acting like what happened wasn’t a big deal, but Eren _knew_ it had meant something.

It had meant something, and the thought that it might have meant something only to himself made everything hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for taking so long to come up with this chapter! Real life has been a giant pain lately. Thanks for being patient! I fully intend to finish this fic, so don't worry about me leaving you hanging. I'll try to return to updating regularly, but it might be a struggle for the next week or so.  
> I am now on tumblr at <http://leunaithe.tumblr.com> Feel free to prod me there or anything at all :3


	9. Admittance Is The First Step To Recovery

“How is he?” Armin asked quietly as he took a wet plate from Mikasa’s hands, mopping it dry with a thick tablecloth, and then placing it gingerly on their kitchen countertop.

Mikasa continued soaping the small pile of dirty dishes they had amassed in the kitchen sink.

“He didn’t want to talk the last time I went in there. He was busy pretending to be focused on playing with my guitar.”  
  
The half-hearted mish-mash of random chords coming from Eren’s room told the two he was still at it. Their apartment was small and empty enough that the sounds of the guitar just echoed awkwardly against the bare walls, and Armin wondered for a second if Eren was even aware that he was hardly being subtle with his self-imposed exile of sadness.

“He really doesn’t like letting people know he’s sad huh. Weird that he has problems with that but nothing against letting people know when he’s angry.” Armin said.

His statement was met with the furious squeaks of sponge against porcelain as Mikasa continued scrubbing at the plates intently before throwing the sponge down.

“If he won’t talk to me, I’ll just ask Levi what he did to Eren.”

Her mouth was twisted into a determined scowl, and she rinsed her hands off hurriedly as if she meant to go do as she had announced right now. Armin stared at her, considering if there was anything he could say that would stop Mikasa when she set her mind to something, but he figured he owed it to Eren to at least try.

“I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Mikasa. Maybe we should wait for Eren to talk to us first.” Armin tried. He put the dishcloth down and put himself in between Mikasa and the exit.

“But he’s been in there for hours.” She countered.

“You threatening Levi isn’t going to make Eren talk to us any faster. Eren’s never been very good at keeping his thoughts to himself, I’m sure he’ll let us know what’s going on soon.”

Mikasa pursed her lips and frowned. Armin stepped forward and laid a gentle hand on her arm before she could call another argument to mind, but the sound of a door being opened interrupted them both.

“Hey, is there anything left to eat? I’m kind of hungry.”

They turned to see Eren standing a little ways behind them. He looked a little scruffy dressed in a crumpled t-shirt and bottoms that were a little too big for him, but apart from his clothes and his slightly puffy eyes, he was otherwise intact.

“Um, we saved you some pizza.” Armin helpfully supplied, before sinking back into silence. He worried at his bottom lip, trying to think of what to say next.  
  
“Cool.”

Eren reached towards the plate that was left on their small island countertop, but felt a hand catch his wrist gently and tug him towards its owner. Eren made a small sound of indignation at whatever had come between him and his food.

“Eren, what happened? Did he do something to you?” Mikasa asked, her tone raised with worry.  
  
Eren shrugged off the hold she had on him and took a bite of his pizza.  
  
“Come on, let me eat first.” He said in between his chewing, walking away to throw himself down on the cheap armchair that sat in their living room.

Mikasa hovered over him, but kept her silence as Eren chewed slowly.

“I don’t know what you think happened but it wasn’t a big deal alright.” Eren told them after he finally finished.  
  
Mikasa narrowed her eyes. “Oh yeah? Then why were you crying?” She said with a challenging grit in her voice.

Eren flushed at that.

“You don’t have to bring that up okay! I mean, it’s not really a big deal. I just…I just like Levi and he rejected me last night, that’s all.” Eren concluded, refusing to look at Mikasa.

“Oh, Eren…” Armin leaned over to crash Eren in ill-angled hug.

Eren murmured a muffled thanks against Armin’s shoulder, and sneaked a peak at Mikasa’s reaction. His sister looked like she was struggling between feeling enraged and sympathetic, though Eren was not quite sure which emotion was directed at him.

She sat herself down on the couch opposite him.

“You know this means I’m going to have to go kick his ass.” Mikasa told him. “He led you on didn’t he? I mean you’re kind of a crybaby but there’s no way you would have cried that much unless he did something else to you.” She said firmly.

“What?!” Eren sputtered. “Come on Mikasa, cool it.”

He fiddled with the bottom of his shirt, pulling absently at thread that had come loose. The shirt was soft from being washed too many times, and he thought briefly of his mother and how much he missed home. He always protested against his mother’s displays of affection but he could really do with a kiss on the forehead right now. Eren looked up to meet the concerned gazes of his sister and his best friend. He placed a warm hand over Mikasa’s, which was gripping tightly at the armchair.

“You don’t have to do that. I’m fine, really. I just don’t want to see him again, ever.”

  
\---

  
“You really fucked up.” Hanji kindly informed him with a slight raise of her eyebrows.  
  
Levi let out a groan as he rested his forehead on his arms, which were placed on the countertop.

“Don’t think I don’t know that.” He replied.

“Let me get this straight.” Hanji said, rising herself up in her seat with a smirk on her face. “You invited Eren over to your place. Gave him a hand job.” Hanji paused for dramatic effect, and was rewarded when Levi flinched a little at the reminder.

She continued as casually as she had begun. “You then remember that you’re about twice his age and that he, in your words, is ‘just a brat’. You have some half-fucked morality about the whole situation, so you put him to bed and then try to back paddle your way out of this whole situation that may or may not have ended with Eren crying his way out of your apartment.”

Hanji stopped, and turned to her shorter friend with a thoughtful look on her face. “Did I get that right, Levi? Or was there a something about a baby seal that you kicked too that I missed out?”

Levi lifted his head and gave her a withering look.

“Save me the thinly veiled allegories, shitty glasses. I didn’t tell you all that just to give you ammunition to make fun of me with.” Levi said as he folded his arms.

“Oh?” Hanji feigned a look of confusion as she leaned closer to the man. “Then why did you tell me all that?”

Levi met her gaze with an impatient glare, but Hanji was not deterred. “Now now Levi, if you don’t tell me what you want, how am I to know? She smiled at him, glasses gleaming from the reflection of the ceiling light caught in them.

“You may give me your input on what you think I should do. I recall you never having an issue with sticking your nose into my business anyway.” He replied gruffly.

“Oh! _You’re_ coming to _me_ for advice?” Hanji asked a little too brightly, hiding a small grin behind her hand.

Levi growled a little. “Don’t make this more painful than it already is, Hanji.”

Hanji responded with an airy laugh.

“Yeah well, maybe I should go easy on you, you look like shit today.” She said as she regarded him with an appraising glance.

“I’ve not had the best couple of days.”

“So is it really about his age or are you just being a dickwad?” Hanji asked, her expression turning serious.

“It was never my intention to mess around with him.” Levi paused for a moment as he searched his the words he was looking for.

“It just feels right with him that sometimes I forget there are so many reasons I shouldn’t be doing this. Then he says something and I remember he’s barely even an adult and I’m still figuring out how to be one. It just scares me you know, at first I thought he might be playing around or confused, but now he’s got me really roped up in this shit and I–I’m fucked up and I don’t want to fuck him up.”

Hanji looked over at Levi. The man’s expression was unchanged, as if he had never even spoken. She felt affection well up in her as she addressed him.

“So, I take it you’re scared.”

Levi kept silent, he didn’t fidget but Hanji noticed the tight curl of his fists.

“I guess you could say that.” He allowed, his eyes wrinkling from the effort of his admission.

Hanji leaned back in her seat, pouring herself another cup of tea as she regarded the entire situation. Levi was hardly adventurous in his romantic endeavours; she could barely recall the last time they had discussed anything regarding his love life, and yet here he was with his uncombed hair, bloodshot eyes and guilt written all over his face.

“You like him huh?” Hanji asked evenly. She watched as he fought down the urge to react defensively. Levi took a deep breath and looked at her square in the eye.

“Yeah. I really do.”

Hanji smiled, she hadn’t expected him to admit it without a painful grilling.

“You should tell him.” She told him.

“Nothing wrong with being a little scared, but if you shut this whole thing down based on that, you’re more of a loser than I give you credit for. If you’re really serious about him and are going to treat him right, then you’re hardly taking advantage of him. “

Levi took a minute to absorb her words.

“But what if it doesn’t work out?” He asked, straightening his back and pushing his head up to gain some semblance of confidence in the face of his open vulnerability.

“Then it doesn’t. Heartbreak happens no matter how old you are. You don’t have to protect him from it, especially if he doesn’t want you to.”

Hanji cleared her throat and stood up to clear the cups lying on the table.  
  
“Come on, let’s call some people over and get sloshed till you forget how to feel sorry for yourself.”

“Don’t use me as an excuse for your degenerate activities.” Levi remarked.

“It’s not nice to misconstrue your friend’s good intentions.” She replied with a wink as she picked up her phone.

They were joined a little while later by Erd and Petra who seemed more than happy to hang out over a few drinks. Hanji had put a movie on, some sort of convoluted French film but only Erd seemed to be paying it any particular attention. Petra was talking quietly to Hanji though about what Levi did not strain to hear.  
  
He had been fiddling with his phone for more than ten minutes now, wondering if what he wanted to do with it was such a good idea. His indecisiveness was pissing himself off, and he murmured a soft ‘fuck it’ to himself as he stood up and moved to the privacy of Hanji’s kitchen.

He dialed Eren’s number and brought the device to his ear, pretending that his heart didn’t begin to beat a little more quickly. He cleared his throat in preparation to speak but each ring stretched on till he heard the voicemail message play. He tried once more, but was met with the same degree of success.

He couldn’t say he hadn’t expected this, but he still felt disappointment burn through his chest. He didn’t blame Eren for not wanting to talk to him, but Levi was not used to being ignored.  
  
He hoped Eren wouldn’t react to badly to seeing him, but it was too late to reconsider once he hit the send button on his phone. He glanced at the ‘ _I’m coming over, I want to talk to you’_ he had sent to the boy, and wondered for a second if he had sounded too curt before walking back out of the kitchen.

Hanji smirked slightly when he told them he had someplace he had to be. He supposed he should just be grateful she didn’t break into some horrible victory dance so he nodded in acknowledgement to the thumbs up she gave him as he walked out the door.

He spent the drive over to Eren’s place trying to find the right words to say. Fuck – Was he supposed to bring some flowers over? Was that what people usually did?

He took the time at a red light to hit the play button on his CD player, and a now familiar voice wafted through the speakers. He must have left Eren’s demo inside the player from when Erwin had handed it to him.

His voice rang out clear and silky smooth on the record but Eren had long surpassed the potential he had displayed when he and his friend’s had first been signed. Levi allowed himself to appreciate how much Eren had grown musically in the few months he had known him, and felt an unwarranted feeling of pride grow inside him. Eren wasn’t just talk and attitude, he was a ridiculously hard worker and his eagerness to please didn’t hurt one bit. Levi tried to stop himself from smiling, but really, the boy was kind of amazing.

He pulled into an empty parking lot in Eren’s apartment complex and got out of his car. He glanced at his phone but he hadn’t received a reply.

It took him a moment to remember which floor Eren lived on, having never been to his apartment itself. He half-guessed which doorbell to ring, hoping he hadn’t remembered wrongly.

There was no answer. Levi looked down at his combat boots; they could use some polish he thought. He mentally counted ten more seconds before giving the doorbell another ring. Nothing. He gave the door a swift knock before pressing the doorbell once more.

He reached into his pocket to pull out his phone when the door swung open.

Mikasa had her arms folded in front of her as she eyed Levi warily without saying a word.

“Is Eren here?” Levi asked, meeting her line of vision squarely.

Her jaw tightened at the mention of her brother’s name, but otherwise she remained impassive.  
  
“No.” Mikasa replied tonelessly.  
  
Levi raised an eyebrow, there was a one in a hundredth chance she wasn’t lying to him.  
  
“I would like to speak with him.” Levi responded, not backing down.  
  
“Well, he’s not here.” She shrugged her shoulders flippantly for effect.  
  
“I just want to apologise to him.” Levi said.  
  
Mikasa regarded this for a second before rounding on him, her stare turning even more unfriendly.  
  
“Look. Eren’s not telling me exactly what you did, but I know you did something to my brother. If you were any other person on earth, my fist would be in your face, but we work at the same company so I don’t think that would go over so well.” She watched Levi’s face for a reaction, but there came none.  
  
“He’s always been a little crazy over you, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you managed to take advantage of that, so trust me, you’re really testing my resolve on the whole not punching you bit. I don’t care that you want to talk to him; he’s made it perfectly clear to me that he doesn’t want to talk to you. And he’s the only one out of the two of you that I care about, so fuck off.” She glowered.  
  
Levi heard an embarrassed cough before the door was pulled back to reveal a blonde figure standing beside her.  
  
“Umm, what she means is that its not such a great time right now.” Armin said a little apologetically. He pushed Mikasa out of the way as he moved to close the door.  
  
 “Give it a few days.” He whispered in a low voice. “You should go before Mikasa decides kicking you in the groin is a good idea.”  
  
Levi sighed as the door slammed shut. He forgot the brat didn’t live alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ASADGFAGJHDAKD; Sorry for how long this took! I fell into a cycle of procrastination and self-loathing regarding this fic and it wasn't easy to get it up and running again. I don't really know what to say, I mean this is literally the first piece of fiction I've written in about...five years?! So I approached this whole thing as more of a warm-up exercise than anything really. I certainly don't have any illusions about the shortcomings of this fic, I just hope I'm at least improving a little as this goes on, but meeeeep rereading some of the earlier parts made me cringe so hard. URGHHHHH DON'T LOOK AT ME
> 
> All the same, I hope you have been enjoying the read. Thank you so much for supporting me so far. /Cheers  
> You guys are the best, for realsies.  
> In case you missed it, I'm on tumblr at <http://leunaithe.tumblr.com>


	10. Untidy Ends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap guys, I didn't realise that the last time I updated was close to 150 days ago. I knew I was a little behind but >_>
> 
> Um, sorry if you have to backtrack and read the last chapter or so before reading the update. That is, if you haven't given up on me yet.

It wasn’t often that Eren had the whole apartment to himself. Mikasa, Armin and Eren didn’t know too many people in the city and so their nights out were usually spent together. Jean had invited all three of them for a party at his place that night and Armin and Mikasa had gone without him after realising that Eren could not be persuaded to join in. Normally Eren would relish the opportunity to get stupidly drunk and throw up on Jean’s carpet but he really needed some time by himself.

There wasn’t much for them to get done until their album dropped but because Armin and Mikasa seemed determined to never let him out of their sight, Eren barely had anytime alone. The past week was filled with unnecessarily long trips to the grocery store together and movie after movie that Armin insisted he had to watch with them. While no one might commend Eren for his intellect, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that his sister and his best friend were trying their best to distract him from the shitfest that was his love life.  
  
Still, as much as he appreciated their efforts, he was only too tired of pretending that he wasn’t aware of the looks of concern they shot behind his back whenever he got a little too quiet. Eren tried to put Levi’s rejection behind him, but it wasn’t easy to pretend that nothing had happened when the two of them were constantly tiptoeing around him. He just wanted one night alone where he could fool himself into thinking that he hadn’t had his heart thrown back in his face.

Eren spooned another mouthful of cold cereal into his mouth while his eyes remained glued to the TV screen. He swallowed unenthusiastically, every bite tasting less and less appealing to him. There was nothing good showing either, just another unfunny comedy, which Eren wouldn’t have spent anytime on if he had anything better to do. He stuck the spoon back into the cereal and placed the bowl down onto the coffee table.

He hoped it wasn’t too late to walk to the nearest fast-food place to pick up a cheeseburger. Eren almost reached reflexively for his phone to check the time but remembered at the last second that he had taken to leaving it facedown on his dresser.  
  
The calls didn’t come that often, but his phone had rung on and off almost every night and only one name ever flashed across the screen. It was hard enough to stop thinking of Levi ordinarily, and the reminder that the man was out there somewhere really didn’t help.

Eren got up and walked to his room, pausing in front of the mirror. He had dressed down for the night, wearing a comfortable white t-shirt that was a little too big and his favourite pair of boxers. His hair was freshly washed and fell across his forehead more than usual. He picked up a pair of black jeans that was strewn across his floor and pulled it on.  
  
He grabbed some change and a few loose notes off his dresser and shoved it into his pockets. He took another quick glance at the mirror and ran his hands roughly through his hair for some volume. He wasn’t going to win any beauty contests dressed like this, but he was just going to buy a burger and come back and eat it on his couch.  
  
Eren hesitated for a moment but then turned over his phone to check the time.  
  
It was 8.45pm, early enough that the shops would still be open. But Eren now felt his hunger replaced by a mixture of expectation and longing in the pit of his stomach when he couldn’t help but catch sight of the notifications at the top of his screen.  
  
 _Missed Call – Levi (20:38)_  
Missed Call – Levi (20:05)  
Missed Call – Levi (19:30)  
Missed Call – Levi (19:12)  
Missed Call – Levi (19:10)  
  
He hated the jolt of anticipation that ran through him when he saw those missed calls. He hated that he wanted Levi to call him again and he hated that wanted to watch the screen flash as he left it unanswered. Perhaps it was mere delusion that Eren ignoring Levi’s calls was anything but a slight inconvenience to the older man but some childish part of Eren felt vindicated.  
  
Maybe it was too much to hope that ignoring Levi’s calls was any sort of punishment to the other man but he wanted Levi to feel the same feeling of dejection that the other man had put Eren through, even if it was just a little bit. It wasn’t that Eren blamed Levi for rejecting him, but he could not deny that he wanted the assurance that he had meant something to the older man and that he wasn’t the only one hurting right now.  
  
Eren shook his head slightly at his train of thought and slid the phone into the back pocket of his jeans. Mikasa and Armin probably wouldn’t be back until the early hours of the morning and Eren wondered if he should bother getting them anything to eat.  
  
He slipped on a varsity jacket that he had found lying on the couch and put it on to keep off the night chill. It felt a little snug at the shoulders, and he crossed his fingers that he wouldn’t stretch it out, if not Mikasa would bitch at him for wearing her clothes again.  
  
Eren slipped on a pair of black sneakers, locked the front door and walked towards the elevator. He faltered a little before hitting the button for the ground floor when his phone vibrated in his back pocket. Eren felt his phone buzz the entire journey down to the ground floor and he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding when the caller hung up. Eren wasn’t quite sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed.  
  
He slung his hands in his jacket pockets to keep warm as he walked to the building exit. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to stay home alone by himself if all he was going to do was eat junk food and mope every time his phone rang.  
  
There was someone sitting on the steps in front of the building. Eren frowned slightly as he walked through the exit. Homeless people were sure getting bolder with their living arrangements, but Eren made a mental note to remember to buy an extra burger for the poor guy.  
  
He walked briskly past the figure on the steps, contemplating whether he should just head to Jean’s party after he was done eating.  
  
“Wait, Eren.”  
  
He heard a familiar voice call out from behind him.  
  
Eren stopped midstep, almost afraid to turn around in case his ears had deceived him. A slight tremor ran down his back and he clenched his fists slightly to steel his nerves.  
  
He heard the sound of a throat clearing before the man addressed him again in a gentler tone.  
  
“Why haven’t you picked up any of my calls?”  
  
Eren felt himself turn around involuntarily, the back of his throat closing up in anxiety. His eyes landed on the man that was now in front of him and he felt his heart clench at the sight.  
  
Levi looked impeccably handsome though he was dressed simply in a fitted white shirt and jeans. He looked a little more tense than usual and Eren was sure the crease between his eyebrows had deepened but there was no denying that Eren was as attracted to him as when he had first seen him.  
  
Eren fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket, suddenly wishing he had put in more effort than just putting on the first pair of jeans he had found on his bedroom floor and his sister’s jacket. He felt vulnerable, caught alone and unprepared.  
  
“I don’t owe it to you to pick up your calls.” Eren said, trying to sound surer than he felt.  
  
Levi made no reply. He nodded weakly as if in resignation and stepped forward tentatively.  
  
“If it’s alright with you I’d like a chance to talk to you.” Levi said neutrally.  
  
Levi looked resolute, like a man who was intent on cleaning up a mess he had left behind and Eren felt a distinct sense of disappointment at Levi’s cold sobriety. He hadn’t expected Levi to feel torn up about the whole affair, but to see him so put together and sedate made him feel little more than an obligation Levi had to see to.

“I don’t think there’s a need for that.” Eren said avoiding Levi’s gaze. “If you’re worried that I’m going to start a big fuss over this or make it difficult for us to work together you have my word that I won’t.”  
  
He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and took a step back. Eren forced himself to turn around, wanting to walk away before he faltered but he felt a firm hand grasp his wrist preventing him from leaving. Eren gasped at how cold Levi’s grip felt against his skin, had he been sitting outside waiting for that long?  
  
“Eren… I know I treated you unfairly and it’s selfish of me to insist on seeing you again but I can’t let you go without talking it over properly with you first.” Levi persuaded. 

Eren shook off Levi’s hold on him and turned around to retort, but the frustration evident on Levi’s face threw him off.  
  
“Don’t tell me you’re satisfied with letting it end like this. We didn’t even get a chance to talk before you barreled out of my apartment.” Levi intoned.  
  
He leaned forward to rest his forehead on Eren’s shoulder, but the boy could not find it in him to push him off. Instead, he felt himself go slack at the feel of Levi’s weight pressed so familiarly against him.  
  
“Don’t you want to hear how I feel about you?” Levi coaxed in an uncharacteristically gentle voice.  
  
“How you feel about me?” Eren murmured back.  
  
The words made no sense to him, why was Levi interested in talking about feelings if he was just here to tidy up his personal affairs?  
  
“You…have feelings for…no– about me?” Eren asked slowly as he tried to figure out Levi’s intentions.  
  
Levi stared at him for a second before shaking his head in vexation.  
  
“What are you talking about? I know I said some unpleasant things when we were last together but you can’t be so dense that this is coming as a surprise to you.” Levi snorted.

Eren looked bewildered and Levi sighed in response. 

“Look, Eren. I’m hardly one to grovel and yet you’ve got me sitting outside your building waiting for you to pick up my calls or for you to get your ass out of your apartment. Surely that clues you in a little about how I feel about you.” Levi retorted. “I could go on, but I’d rather not have this conversation outside your building.”  
  
Eren nodded numbly, feeling the sensation return to his knees.  
  
“Err, okay, do you want to come upstairs?” Eren volunteered despite his better judgment. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but his blood was racing before he knew it.  
  
“That would be nice.” Levi said placidly as he followed Eren into the building.  
  
The two stood in silence in the elevator, watching the numbers light up as they ascended. Eren watched Levi out of the corner of his eye. The older man hardly seemed perturbed but a certain tension filled his shoulders. He was standing further apart from Eren than he normally would, almost as if he were unsure if his presence was tolerated.  
  
Eren fumbled for his keys for a second before opening the front door and leading Levi into the living room. He gestured for the older man to sit before doing the same.  
  
“It’s cleaner than I imagined.” Levi informed him as he eyed the place casually.  
  
“Yeah, we try not to mess it up to much because none of us like cleaning up the place.” Eren informed him as he surveyed the condition of the apartment. “Do you want something to drink?” He asked.  
  
Levi shook his head before sliding in his seat to position himself nearer to the boy. Eren tried not to be bothered by their proximity but the he felt the beat of his heart speed up unmistakably.  
  
“I’m sorry.” Levi admitted without hesitation. “For dismissing the whole thing the way I did. But I did mean part of what I said. We did let it get out of hand. I know you hate when I bring this up, but I need you to know that I’m not using it as an excuse. You’re young, much younger than I am. For all I know, I could be your first…whatever this is.”  
  
Levi paused to examine Eren’s face for a reaction but found none. For someone who had trouble keeping any emotion he felt a secret, he was holding up a commendably unreadable poker face.  
  
“Even if we had been the same age, it was still a little too fast for my tastes. But I was wrong in brushing off our relationship and for not giving you a say in the outcome.” Levi continued.  
  
“I handled it badly. I freaked out. I don’t know how to be anything but a selfish, unsociable piece of shit and I’m terrified of hurting you but I like you, and if some part of you still wants me I’d like for us to see where this goes.”  
  
Levi watched Eren anxiously for some sort of reaction, but the other seemed to be deep in thought. Eren frowned, digesting what Levi had just told him. Could he trust that Levi meant what he said this time? He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t still like Levi but the past week had been a rough one and he was hesitant about throwing himself back into it all.  
  
“I don’t understand.” Eren said plainly. “I’m still the same age I was last week. Why are you here now? What’s changed?” 

Eren frowned as the question left his mouth. He gripped the edge of the couch nervously as he awaited a reply. He hadn’t asked Levi that to be difficult, he was genuinely confused. It wasn’t like Levi to flip-flop between decisions like this and he needed to know where the older man was coming from.  
  
He felt his body heat up as Levi’s gaze on him darkened. It was not fair how easily Levi could rile him up with just one look.  
  
“One thing that hasn’t changed since then and now is how I feel about you. I liked you then, and I like you now. Believe me.” Levi said, tasting the conviction in the words that he allowed to spill out of him.  
  
Eren was refusing to look at him now and he couldn’t tell if the boy was pleased or pissed off but it was too late to stop now.  
  
“I was scared that I was taking advantage of you. You’re hardly subtle with your admiration.” Levi admitted candidly and Eren felt his ears burn at his honesty.  
  
“Part of me was worried that you don’t really like me half as much as you thought you did, that you were just caught up in the magic of being with your favourite singer. But then you showed me it wasn’t just some crush and then the magnitude of the situation caught up with me.” He paused to take a breath.  
  
“I don’t know how I’m supposed to act in a real relationship with someone who isn’t just looking for some fun and you probably don’t know either. I’m too old for some fucked-up teenaged disaster but neither of us has any real experience beyond that. I’m not trying to justify my actions, but I panicked.” Levi felt fidgety, he couldn’t remember the last time he spoke for this long uninterrupted.  
  
“I still don’t feel entirely comfortable about pursuing a physical relationship with you just yet, as hypocritical as that may sound but who am I to decide whether you’re adult enough to handle an emotional one.” Levi said, leaning back to take a look at Eren as he finished.  
  
The boy looked like he was grappling with what he had just been told. There was nothing Levi could do but wait. He had laid all his cards out on the table and he could only hope he hadn’t screwed up entirely.  
  
He could hear the faint dripping of water from a loose faucet coming from what he supposed was the kitchen and he fought the urge to get up and turn it off. When was the last time he had been this nervous? How did Eren just say whatever was on his mind so easily all the time? He felt drained, like he had emptied whatever was inside him out into the open and there was nothing left inside of him.  
  
He watched the time on the clock tick past. The itch to stand or to say something to fill the silence increased with every passing minute. He forced himself to remain still, though he was more restless than ever before.  
  
It felt like an eternity before Eren finally spoke.  
  
“So you’re kind of an asshole.” Eren announced, breaking the silence between them.  
  
“I know.” Levi confided.  
  
“That was a really shitty thing you did.”  
  
“It was.” Levi confirmed resolutely.

“The breakfast you cooked me really sucked too.”  
  
“Yeah.” Levi mumbled.  
  
“Some nights your phone calls woke me up.”  
  
“Sorry.” Levi replied.  
  
“And earlier on, I thought you were a homeless man when you were sitting on the steps.”  
  
Levi stared at Eren, not quite sure how to react until he caught glimpses of a small grin on the boy’s face.  
  
“…Don’t push it, brat.” He growled.  
  
Eren laughed in response and he slid over to give Levi a chaste kiss on the cheek. The two stared at each other for a while, both knowing that something had change between them. Levi took Eren’s hand into his own and turned to face the boy.  
  
“You sure?” He asked Eren, squeezing his hand meaningfully.  
  
“I’m sure.” Eren said, squeezing back firmly. “I’ve always been sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, really sorry about the long wait and thank you for being so patient. Just one more chapter to go (I think, but yes). Thank you for your continued support, I really couldn't have written this far without you guys :') 
> 
> I hope you don't hate this chapter though S:
> 
> Hit me up on tumblr if you'd like to chat <http://leunaithe.tumblr.com>
> 
> I'll try to get the last part out before the end of March, putting this here so I don't take so long this time


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